Northbound Pilgrimage II

Chapter IX - Barbarians

Aeyrin and Azshan left for the noble's estate early in the morning.

Azshan had assured her, when they met in the common room after dawn, that his arm was completely fine and that he didn't even need to heal it again himself.

That was very uplifting. She actually managed to learn that new spell pretty fast. She was sure that she still needed more time to master it, but even so, it was an encouraging development.

"That's a nice armor you've got," Azshan said idly as they walked towards the homestead. He probably liked it because her Dwemer-metal plate with almost white underchain was bright-colored and shiny too, just like his shimmering armor. It was definitely more beautiful than any other armor that she had ever had.

"Yeah? I made most of it myself," Aeyrin beamed at him proudly.

On that, Azshan raised his brow at her with palpable surprise: "I didn't know you could smith."

"I'm trying to learn. It was one of the reasons why I came here too. Skyrim smithing is pretty legendary," she smiled. She still remembered the first armor that she had made back with Alvor in Riverwood. Bishop made fun of it constantly.

"True," Azshan smiled back. "So, are you still doing that pilgrimage?"

"Kind of... I suppose. There's been a lot of stuff happening. More often than not, I'm not even sure what to do first here with the dragons and... other things," she sighed. She had decided against telling him about her plans with Jora regarding the Talos worshippers. Not that she didn't trust him with it, but...

Hmm... perhaps she actually didn't.

It was hard to share things like that with him. Even though he was her friend, she still associated him too much with the Order. She could never really be sure that he wouldn't feel compelled to divulge her endeavors to them and there were simply too many connections to the Thalmor.

It was an uncomfortable thought – trust. When she pondered on it, who here could she really trust after all that had happened? Everyone she knew, she felt compelled to keep some secrets from when she was affiliated with so many people, so many plans and plots. She didn't feel secure talking about the Blades, about Jora and definitely not about Karliah. Not with anyone who hadn't already been involved.

The only person who knew about all these things was Bishop. And yet... she constantly thought about how she couldn't trust him. How he lied and kept secrets.

Maybe that was a bit unfair to him. Even now, after all that had happened, he was the only person that she would never hesitate telling these things to. He would never judge her, never even humor the thought of betraying her to anyone. Was it really fair for her to constantly think about not being able to trust him?

Even in Falkreath, he never meant to keep her in the dark forever. He wanted to tell her everything.

He did tell her everything.

He told her too late, but he did. And she knew that it wasn't just out of guilt. He assured her time and time again that he would.

She couldn't say that she wasn't angry at him anymore. But despite what she kept convincing herself of, she knew that she still did trust him. No matter what.

But it was still a bit unsettling to know how easily he was able to convince her of his lies and subterfuge.

She wasn't sure if she would ever be alright with knowing that.

"Hey, are you still worried about it? You know... after the battle?" Azshan interrupted her ruminations as he looked her over with concern.

Well now she was.