Northbound Pilgrimage II

Chapter IV - Something Missing

With a heavy sigh, Aeyrin gathered her things and headed back towards the attic rooms.

The bathing facilities at the meadery weren't really ideal. She was pretty sure that it was just an emptied out storage room with a small tub and lavatory. There was definitely no fireplace to dry one's clothes by.

She should consider getting some spare clothes already, but every bit of space in her pack was precious whenever she was crawling through some ancient ruin, filling it to the brim with loot. Not that that has been happening lately, but still. Before now, she never really had to concern herself about the clothing anyway. She would let it dry out most days through the night when she was resting.

She didn't need to wear anything for sleeping when she was travelling with Bishop anyway. And since she had left, she mostly snuggled into his old shirt at night. She wasn't sure if it was out of sentimentality or because of some lingering feelings, but she refused to ponder on it in any case.

She was sick of overthinking everything.

Like now.

There was definitely something wrong with her – no one sane would get this anxious about what they were wearing to bed.

The prospect of sharing a bed with Raven was making her a bit uncomfortable, but it was better than sleeping outside in the cold again.

And who knew? Maybe she would actually get some sleep when she wouldn't be alone. Maybe she got too used to sharing someone's closeness. She knew that she needed to get over herself and just get accustomed to being alone again, just like she did before, but that was easier said than done.

She was so tired.

If she could get some proper rest just for one night, surely everything would be easier.

Wouldn't it?

Everything's just been so strange lately. She felt like she was always thinking, always worrying, but she was never sure about what. She adamantly tried to ignore any lingering thoughts and memories, but it only resulted in a strange confusing mess in her head. The thoughts were still there. At the back of her mind, plaguing her constantly. But she never acknowledged them. Never gave them a spare second.

It felt like she wasn't ready to deal with any of it.

Someday she would be. She was sure of it. But right now, she couldn't even imagine it.

She marched up the steps and entered the attic room again.

Karliah was already in the adjacent alcove. The door was closed and not a sound escaped from in between the cracks of the wooden walls. Perhaps she was already asleep.

Raven was still sitting by the table, trying to clean it up. It was littered with papers, although that mess was likely not a result of diligent work. Aeyrin was pretty sure that she wasn't the only one shuffling the papers around mindlessly and pretending to be busy for the most of the time. Everything about this day has been so uncomfortable. For everyone.

The only time she actually felt somewhat at ease was when she was alone with Raven. And when she was alone with Bishop, for that matter. At least Karliah tried to act normal. But those two men together were apparently the recipe for tension and drama.

Raven shot her a small smile when she appeared at the door. He let out a sigh a second later, looking over the table, before he shook his head and rose up from his chair. Apparently, organizing things back to fit Karliah's meticulous system was too exhausting for him.

He stepped towards one of the cupboards by the bed, rummaging in a drawer while she made her way towards a crate of mead and grabbed another bottle for herself. Maybe that would help with the sleep a bit too.