Corpse Party: Redemption

I'm Not Sure How To Feel

"I'm not even sure how to feel right now," I told Kurosaki as we walked along the sidewalk. "Five years of being missing, it's a lot to take in."

"Just relax, Hoshikawa," he told me. In the hospital, he'd told me as much as he really could. He'd even mentioned that he knew someone who could tell me even more. "Everything will be alright."

"How does this person know so much about me?" I was nervous, but who wouldn't be? Meeting a total stranger, someone who knew more about you than you did. "Even if they did know me, it's been five years. If I'm the person you say I am."

"Right now, you sound just like she used to." He laughed a bit to himself, only making me feel more nervous about the whole thing.

"I wish Sakutaro was here." It was hard being so far away from him after being with him for two years. I didn't love him, but still I felt really lonely without him.

"Well, he did have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on," Kurosaki said, just watching the sidewalk ahead of us. His comment, while it may have been a joke, sparked a thought in my own mind.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I questioned.

He just stopped and laughed. "Actually I probably should be," he admitted, giving me an embarrassed smile.

"Why aren't you?"

"Well, I kinda owe you for what happened in Heavenly Host," he started as he looked off down the street again. "And that Sayuri Hoshikawa who disappeared five years ago was a really good friend of mine. If I could find her again... I'm sure it'd make a lot of people happy."

"You cared a lot about her, didn't you?" His voice had changed slightly as he started talking about the girl he used to know. It had been just calm and informative before; now it had a soft, friendly feel to it.

He was a bit surprised at the sudden question but soon answered with a small laugh. "I guess I really liked her back then." I looked over at his face a moment just to notice that he was blushing slightly.

"Would you like to talk about her?" I offered, bringing an even bigger smile to his face. It seemed strange talking about her as if there was no chance that I could be her. The thought was actually quite comforting.

"She was always looking out for everyone else. I remember how we met when I was nine. It was just like I met you, actually."

"She pulled a hunk of wood out of your hand?" Kurosaki laughed again, a bit louder this time.

"Yeah. I remember... I'd tripped while I was playing... and a small sliver of a stick got jammed into my hand..." He paused a moment as he tried to recall that day that had been so long ago. "She just happened to be nearby and she'd heard me."

"Lucky for you, I guess."

"Yeah... She was always so kind and gentle... and that smile... so sweet and a bit shy... it was adorable." His pace slowed a bit and soon we stopped. "She was always so worried about everyone else, never thought much about herself."

"She sounds kinda like how I used to be," I smiled a bit to myself. "It's funny how things can change like that."

"What made you change?"

"I guess Sakutaro's personality rubbed off on me over the two years I spent with him," I said, starting to feel sad again. He was probably busy with homework right now. "We were always really close... I wonder if he'll be alright without Mayu there..."

"What exactly was he to you? You started to sound like you love him, but you're worried about him not being with Mayu."

"Well, I guess I loved him, but not quite like you're thinking." This sort of thing wasn't easy to explain. "He was a friend, but in a way, he was more than that. Like family, but even closer than that. I knew from the beginning that he really cared for Mayu, and I wanted him to be with her. He'd be pretty lost without her, even if he doesn't quite realize it."

"And this Mayu, how did she feel about him?"

"She felt the same way about him..." Feeling tears starting to form in my eyes at the memory of her last moments, I stopped talking about it.

"Hey, Hoshikawa, are you alright?" His hand rested on my shoulder, pulling my attention back to what we'd been doing before all this had come up.

"Just a memory, that's all." I brushed away the tears that had started to form and put on a smile. It was forced, and I was sure it showed, though Kurosaki said nothing. "How much further is it?"

"Actually, we've been there for a while now."

I'd stopped paying attention to our surroundings quite a while ago, but now I'd noticed we stood just a few feet from the door to the home of the one he'd said could tell me more about the girl who shared the same name as me.

"So this is...?"

"Don't worry."

Don't worry. Such a pointless phrase. If you had to tell someone not to worry, usually they would be the type to worry anyway.

"I-I don't know if I can do this..." Was I really ready to know who I was? What if there was nothing left for me? Or maybe I had a family. What then? Do I just leave behind everyone and everything I've known for some family I didn't even know I had? The thought alone was just too much.

"Everything will be fine," he insisted, turning my face towards him. "Trust me."

I wasn't really so sure about it, but I just nodded and prepared myself. I turned the other way as he knocked on the door.

"Hello Kensuke," a woman's voice answered. "What brings you here?"

"There's someone I'd like you to meet." Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed me by my shoulders, turning me and pushing me towards the strange woman.

She gasped but said nothing. When I finally looked up, I was shocked to find that she was no stranger. I didn't have to have my memory to know who she was. I recognized her. I may not remember her exactly, but I recognized her and knew exactly who she was.

"Mom?"