Broken Pillars (FTRS Fanfic)

Do you want to talk about it?

TW: Mentions of slight abuse from last chapter

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jax asked me softly about a half hour later while we were sitting in his room with his arm gently wrapped around my waist. I let out a soft sigh as I thought about it, on one hand I did want to talk about it, but on the other hand its hard to talk about. I don't know if I really want to yet..

"Yeah, sure." I responded softly, and he squeezed my shoudlers gently to let me know I could take my time to talk. "I just.. she.. she was yelling at Anna, you know because she brought Hasel home with her and she was pissed off about that. Then Felix was all sad, and he couldn't stop hearing them, so he went downstairs to tell them to stop even though I was telling him not to. So, we went downstairs and Felix told her to stop and Anna was crying and then Mum started yelling at Felix, and he was about to cry to so I finally lost it. I yelled at her to shut up, and I told her off, and she was pissed so she asked me what I said so I told her again. So she slapped me. And I didn't know what to do, but I knew I couldn't stay there.. I didn't think it was safe so.." I trailed off, my voice cracking too much to talk as I felt hot, salty tears fall down my face.

"Hey, hey.. its okay, Gil, you did the right thing." Jax said softly next to my ear, and rubbed my arm while he spoke. I threw my arms aroun him and held on and I never wanted to let go. If I had it my way, I would never let go of him again. I never wanted to. I wanted to hold onto him forever and ever, and never leave his side.

"Then I went and found the twins, and I didn't tell them what happened, I just told them to go pack for a sleepover, and when I found Trixie she was crying and asking me if I was okay and everything and I told her to go pack and that we were leaving, and then I went up to pack. Then Anna came and asked me where we were gonna go, and then I texted you and AG." I said between sniffles and voice cracks, and Jax just kept mumbling that it would be okay, and I done the right thing and that he loved me and that he was glad we were here and not there, and I don't think I'll ever find the words to tell him how much that night meant to me, because it was like he coud read my mind and he knew everything I needed to hear.

"I love you so much.." I whispered to Jax as I snuggled impossibly closer to him.

"I'll always love you more." He responded, softly kissing my forehead and then my lips.

"That's literally not possible." I retorted, smiling at him lightly.

"Of course it is. I'm bigger, which means I have more room to store my love for you." Jax said and I laughed at him and smiled too and I gave him a soft kiss before responding.

"Only because you're a giraffe." I said back, my lips still right next to his mouth, and he chuckled before kissing me once more.

When I finally went to bed that night, I couldn't thin kabout how mad at mom I was, or I didn't know how to explain the bruise on my cheek, or how everyone was going to get even more suspicious when they saw it. All I could think about was Felix, who was breathing softly in my arms where he;d fallen asleep with his book open, which I stuck his book mark and tossed to the bedside table, and the warmth of his trust as slept craddled in my arms, and Jax, and how the only thing I ever saw in his eyes when he looked at me was love, and how he always knew exactly what to say and how he was most perfect person in the world. And Anna and how she finally stopped blaming me and we were finally on good terms again.

Even though it had been a horrible day, alls I could think about as let sleep wash over me was everything that today had given me back, like and Anna, and things it reminded me of that I was in danger of forgetting, and, in some sick, twisted way, I thanked my mom for it. Because even if she couldn't be the person she was supposed to be, at least now we were all somewhere safe and we were all loved, because Jax really did love all of us, for the simple reason that I did. And the fact that he never even wanted a 'thank you', much less expected one, made me feel like there was no way to ever thank him enough.

My heart, although broken, was full of love that night when I fell asleep.

Okay this is a tad shorter than usual, but I really needed some happy scenes after the last chapter because I felt really bad for Gilly and her siblings.. so.. here ya go! I hope you guys enjoyed it, thanks for reading, rating and commenting! It means a lot, and I'll y'all next chapter! <3