Only a fool for you

I Hate You

⚠️multiple slurs⚠️
⚠️suicidal thoughts⚠️

*Augusts pov*

I hate holidays.
I hate my family.
I hate myself.
I hate everything.

These holidays are torture. Ever since Simon, that f@ggot told everyone about my secret my life has been hell.

" August! Come out I need to talk to you." I heard my mother call from outside my bedroom.

I opened the door.

" What?!"

" I think you need to sit down for this." She said, fiddling with the expensive necklace wrapped around her neck.

I remained standing, waiting for her to get on with what she was saying even though I had no plans.

" I had to sell Arnäs. Even though your tuition is payed we still can't afford not to sell it. August when you are older you will understand."

Pure rage had risen in me.

" WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! THAT WAS THE ONLY THING HE GAVE ME AND YOU TOOK THAT AWAY!"

She tried to speak but I didn't let her.

" I always have fucking wished that you were the gone and not him."

Before I had anytime to see her reaction I stormed back into my room and locked the door shut.

Even though my father was an abusive alcoholic. I still loved him. Sometimes I think that I am turning into him. But in my eyes that's not a bad thing. He was a powerful man, that I aspire to be like. I knew he would be disappointed in me. And being honest, I would be too. In fact everyone is. I cant help but wonder what everyone's life would be like without me. Probably better.

I wish that I was a prince. Everything would be so much better. Wilhelm never took his role seriously, where as I would. I would be honoured. But Wilhelm? He risked it all for some pathetic poor boy. I can't wrap my head around Wilhelm being a f@ggot. Sure, I can expect it from his- filthy boyfriend but him? He could have any girl he wants and chose a broke boy? Sure Simon was attractive but worth risking the monarchy?

When I was younger my dad punched me one day, and said f@ggots should burn in hell and I agree with him.

It just cost me a black eye to see it.

I walked over to my mirror. I study myself and hate what I see.

I look at me and think:

I hate you
I hate you
I hate you

And I know that everyone agrees with me. I took one last look before grabbing my pills.

I took one.

I took a second for my father.

I took a third for my old friends.

I took soo many that I realised that there was only a single pill left.

One more wouldn't hurt.

Right?

A/N

So I wrote an August pov 😶

Ik it's short af

Tell me what you think!

Also I'm so sorry for not writing for 2 weeks. I had written but I was in the mountains with no internet so they published when I got back 🙄

THANK YOU FOR 800 READS WHATT?!

:)