The Place Where It All Starts (Sitio Series #1)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Believe Me 

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They said that when we lose someone we love, we must learn not to live without them. But to live with the love they left behind.

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When I was a child, I would always stay up late waiting for my parents to come home from work. Sometimes, I'll fell asleep when I'm waiting but when I wake up, they are the first person I'll see and I guess the hours I spent waiting were still worth it.

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Nasanay ako na hindi kami laging magkakasama. Mahilig pumunta sa iba't-ibang lugar sila Mommy at Daddy para sa kanilang trabaho. Kaya lagi akong naghihintay tuwing alam kong pauwi sila.

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"Hey mom, I know we're getting old... And the lines on our hands have changed, but you still look at me the same."

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I tried my best to not break down while I'm singing in my mom's burial. Kahit puro iyak at hagulgol ang naririnig ko galing sa mga bisita at mga kamag-anak namin habang kumakanta, hindi ako nagpadala sa aking damdamin. Gusto kong magpakatatag.

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I am wearing a white dress and a make-up to cover up my sorrowful face. Itong damit na ito ang favorite na ipasuot sa akin ni Mommy kaya sinuot ko siya ngayon.

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"Hey mom, guess what? You're really tough... and I know you did all you could, just to make sure my life was good."

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Hindi ako ganoon kalapit sa magulang ko dahil lagi naman silang wala sa bahay. Pero kahit ganoon ay hindi ako nagtanim sa kanila ng sama ng loob. I understand that what they're doing are all for me. They are sacrficing their time and making an effort just so I could live a extravagant life they knew I deserve.

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"Sorry for the fights and the tone of my voice. Sorry for the nights when I made the wrong choice. Life is flying by and it's hitting me now... I hope it's not but..."

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Kahit mali ang ginawa nilang panghuhusga at pangmamaliit ng kapwa tao, nagsisisi pa rin ako sa mga sinabi ko noon.

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I still remember clearly how I said that it's much better if they're just out of the house. I still remember clearly how pain manifested on my parent's faces when I beg them to go away. I still remembered it clearly because that's the last memory I've had with my dad, and I guess probably with my mom, too...

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Noong bata pa ako ay lagi kong silang hinihintay umuwi... Ngayon naman ay pinaalis ko sila at itinaboy... Kaya tuloy ay mukhang 'di na talaga sila babalik at uuwi sa akin.

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"If this is the last time, please come close. I love you with all my heart, you know... I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye... If this is the last time..."

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The tears I've wanted so much to hide just escape my eyes like a waterfalls. Hindi na ako makakanta maayos dahil sa biglaang bugso ng damdamin ko.

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"Hey dad, what's up? Miss you so much... Yeah, the shade of your hair has changed. But I look up to you the same... Taught me how to fish, taught me how to ride a bike. Taught me how to love, how to treat people right... Life is flying by and it's hitting me now I hope it's not, but..."