"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou
What would you do, when you lost everything, career, family, money and self esteem?
This is a story of fall from grace with a (un)healthy dose of smut.
Aaron gently knocked on the bathroom door, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, give me a few minutes, showering now."
I came out from the bathroom, refreshed, and found Aaron was sitting in the living room, busying himself with his tablet. He looked at me, "Suddenly, I have so much inspiration to compose."
I went closer to him, "Let me take a look."
"Not now, too raw. Just jotting down my thoughts."
"Ern.... you want to continue, or should we go out for breakfast? There is this amazing quaint café that served the best pancake and scones in Cameron."
"Give me 30, I will shower and then, we go."
We walked to The Lord's Café, a famous gem in Cameron and ordered almost everything in the menu. Aaron kept tapping on his tablet and I took the opportunity to observe him. I realised that, despite all the frantic activities in his brain, he was able to craft out his own bubble, that was very comforting to him. He didn't have the need to chatter away the awkwardness. Just him, his air pod and tablet, he was good to go. I find this trait amazingly peaceful.
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The Lord's Cafe is a quaint little café tucked among the row of shophouses has become a household name among the travelers that come to enjoy the chilling weather of the Cameron's.
On the drive down to the capital, we finally had the conversation.
"Do you cry each time you have sex, or was it just last night?"
I stared at him, "When did I cry?" He just glanced sideway at me, giving me time to brain his question.
"Oh.... I didn't realize that I was crying." He grimaced, "At first, I thought that you were in pain, then I realized, you were in other type of pain. Do you want to talk about it?"
Seeing that I was focusing on the snake road down, he continued, "I remembered, the first time, I slept with someone after I broke up, I had very mixed feelings. It was good to know that someone else finds me desirous. I was able to satisfy my lust. Men are very simple. You see someone you want to bang; you just do it. No loss. But a part of me felt guilty, as if I cheated. Then it hit me, this wasn't cheating, he broke up with me. I am unattached. I can sleep with anyone I want. "He was quiet for a while, staring at the scenery in front of us, "And that made it worse."
"I understand if you need to vent. We are both men. It doesn't need to mean anything. If I can make you forget for a while, is okay." He touched my hand and gently grasped it. "If you need to talk, I am here."
I turned to him and smiled, "So that you can Taylor Swifted it?" He started laughing, "Is that even a verb? He, he, yes, so that I can Taylor Swifted it!" He started humming happily, "Seriously, this is a great break away, suddenly, I have so many lyrics in my mind. As if my creative juice was released. Non-stop, non-stop."
After dropping him off at his hotel, I went back to YBY's house and had the best sleep for a long time, until YBY barged into my room, waking me up with a very loud, "You are back! Wake up, let's go for dinner."
The minute we finished ordering in the Korean BBQ restaurant, he hit me with this, "So, you and Aaron, fuck buddies now?" I spurted out my soju, "What the fuck?" "Don't tell me that you didn't sleep with him. Finally, you look more chilled, not as if you have something shoved up your ass all the time."
"What is your plan now?"
"What plan? Me with Aaron?"
"I don't give two fucks about you both. I am asking, since his concert is over, what is your plan for the future? As in, how are you going to earn a living!"
"I really enjoyed working with you. Can I continue? I am also planning to move into my own place. Unlike you, I don't plan to be a freeloader for long."
"Aiya, just stay as long as you want. Bubbles seemed attached to you, already. You can help me to take care of her. I am planning a series of concerts with Aaron and initially, I wanted you to be the key liaison. But since you both argh.... Might not be appropriate."
"Don't worry, we are cool. I know how to keep things professional. So, am I going to be a full-time employee now? With salary? How much argh?"
"You, so money minded. Good lah! At least now you are smarter. Ashley will be banking in your last month's pay by the 7th. Tomorrow, after the meeting with Aaron's team, you go and collect your appointment letter from Ashley." He took a bite of the marinated grilled pork belly, "You have not been working for a long time, so make sure that you stay focused on the work. You need to be serious. Initially, it will be tough on you because you are used to being served. Now, you have to take care of others, make sure everything in order. Cannot slag at all."
I quietly nodded.
"You need to learn how to work with others. Cannot be so quiet all the time. My team is really crazy, but they are good people. You can learn a lot from them. Be humble and agile."
"Middle of the month, you need to fly to Seoul, to meet up with Aaron's team there, to nail down the final details. I will come with you. Learn as much as you can. Then you can do it by yourself. Don't need me anymore. I can focus on other things."
"How long we need to stay in Seoul?"
"Just 2 – 3 days, but it will be a back-to-back appointment. We are talking about multiple location concerts. You, okay? This will be your key project."
I am already in my mid-thirties, and I only had one career in my whole life. Then shamelessly sponged off my lover. To be given this opportunity can be considered as a blessing. No matter what, I have to let go of my ego and phobia, and do my best. I cannot fail this time.
