𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬 ¹

|𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓽𝔂-𝓕𝓲𝓿𝓮 | 𝓖𝓸 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓽|

Chapter Thirty-Five - Go For The Throat

Mommy, why do I feel sad? Should I give him away or feel this bad?

"No, no, no don't you choke,"

 Daddy chimed in "go for the throat"

-Melanie Martinez, "Class Fight,"

***

Veronica

"What are you doing?" Archie's voice booms in my ear breaking me from my train of unhealthy thoughts, my eyes scan the entirety of my nude figure before eventually meeting his own through the reflection of the mirror, I feel his hands take hold of mine and he moves all four appendages to sit comfortably on my stomach, though one of his strays from the rest moving a few inches south his fingertip trace gentle circles under my belly button, and all over my lower abdomen, "What is it?" he whispers, and I gulp I don't want to let him know the real reason, 

My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is gorgeous and I'm an obvious downgrade, 

"Nothing," I reply, 

"Ronnie," he sighs, I bite my lip apprehensively as my eyes shut tightly, 

The hardest part about having mental issues is that people expect you to act as if you don't and those who are understanding well, they always look at you as if you're a ticking time bomb as if the slightest inconvenience will push you back into that horrible place where nothing makes sense, it's hard to be fragile when everyone treats you as if you are, it makes it harder to overcome it, I don't want to talk about this, because it makes it that much more real, and I don't want it to be I don't want my thoughts to become reality I don't want to think that he'll leave me for her, because I need him, I need them both even if they're both oblivious as most men in my life tend to be,

"Hey guess what," I say quickly attempting to stray from the conversation, 

"What?" he replies going along with it, though I know he intends to pry further, I just hope that with what I'm going to tell him he'll drop this for a little while longer at least until I can make my peace with it,

"So I was doing some research and I found out that I can take this prenatal blood test at eleven weeks it tests for things like downs syndrome and other chromosomal defects in the baby and we may be able to find out the gender then, I talked to Jenni and she said that she thinks it's a good idea, and she also said that we can see it more accurately at the fourteen-week scan though I don't want to get my hopes up since it isn't all that accurate this early I just-- I thought it'd be nice," I shrug, I watch as a huge smile slowly develops on his flawless face and he hastily turns me around to face him attaching his lips to mine passionately, 

"That's only five weeks away," he smiles, 

"Yeah," I laugh at his soft gasping, it's moments like these that make things easier for me, as even when my mind is a whirlwind of messed up thoughts and unsolved problems, I focus on Archie and the baby and I feel as if everything is going to be ok, I know we're going to be amazing co-parents, and I know that no matter how Mike reacts to the unexpected news, I'll have Archie here and that's enough for me, he's enough for me, 

"So I was um, I was also doing some research and I read about these things called babymoons they're like honeymoons but instead of going away after you get married you go on vacation before the baby comes, so you can relax and I thought it'd be fun, to get away for a weekend alone this time," he says,

"That usually happens around the middle of pregnancy like at the five-month mark," I say, he sighs expressing disappointment, 

"I think that's a great idea, just give it a few weeks?" I ask,