"I'm leaving," the last thing you heard your partner say before leaving. Tired from arguing and the reek smell of alcohol, you go and take a warm shower. Heading into bed not knowing what's coming the next day.
Waking up to your loud alarm. You get up getting ready for work, not thinking of anything. Reaching your workplace you immediately start doing your thing. Chatting with your coworkers.
Until your phone goes off interrupting your conversation. You sigh before excusing yourself somewhere to take the call. "Hello?"
"Hello, this is (s/o name) sister. This is (name) right?"
"Yes, this is (name) what is it that you need?" You ask not prepared for what to come next. "Yes, um I think it would be better if you come down to the hospital to find out what happened regarding (s/o name)"
"What? What happened to (s/o)? Which hospital?" You ask worried.
Receiving the hospital address you immediately go tell your boss that you had a emergency and needed to leave early. Getting inside your car and starting it.
While driving you had a bunch of thoughts swarming your head. Did they get into a fight? Did they get into a car accident? Did someone stab them?
Finally arriving, you head in asking for (s/o name) room. Getting it and heading down there you see your partners family. "What happened to (s/o name)?"
They all look at you not saying a thing. Their faces all sad and gloomy. One crying and one not. "Are you guys just going to not say a thing!?" You yell out irritated, annoyed of them not saying a single thing.
You head into the room seeing your partner sleeping. You frown wondering what happened. Until something catches your eye. The heart monitor.
Your eyes widen. It was flat. "Impossible," you thought to yourself. "(name) right?" You turn around facing a doctor. "Sorry to inform you but unfortunately (s/o name) had overdosed on alcohol."
Your heart sunk. You couldn't believe it. "I..." was all you could blurt out. "I'll let you have some time with them," they said before leaving and closing the door.
You turn around looking at your partner. Tears forming in your eyes. You truly couldn't believe it. Of course, the day you guys had an argument over your partner's alcohol problems this happens. The only time you weren't there for them, to help them.
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You hear your door open turning around to see your partner. "Hey" they said before going down to sit down by the counter taking another sip of their bottle. You sigh tired of them coming back home with yet again another bottle of alcohol.
Your partner hearing your sigh, they turn to face you and say, "What, you got a problem or something?"
Not bothering to face them continuing to read your book, you reply back with, "Yes, yes I do."
You hear them scoff at your words. "Oh, is it because i'm drinking again? What about it! Cant I have my fun?"
Tired, you get up and face them. "Of course, i'm tired! Tired of you coming home drunk reeking of alcohol! Tired of me having to pick you up because again, you're drunk! Tired of trying to help you out with your alcohol problems but it never works!"
Your partner's facial expression changing. "Maybe you should've thought of that before dating me," Mad, you blurt out, "What does that have to do with anything? I try helping you out but it doesn't even seem like you're trying! It's more like you're the one that doesn't care for our relationship."
Angered, they get up and yell back at you, "You think it's my fault that I keep coming back home drinking! You know what i'm going through!"
"Well sorry that I don't have a small little mind that can only think of alcohol as their only solution to everything! You think you're the only one hurting? It hurts me when I see you drinking alcohol every damn week. It hurts me when you choose alcohol over me to help."
Rolling their eyes at you, they reply back with, "Suddenly I have a small little mind now? Maybe I do, but so what? It's better than hearing you complain for every little thing."
"I'm leaving." They said before slamming the door shut. You didn't feel like following them behind, you were tired of them doing the same thing over and over again when you truly wanted to help them.
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It was the day of their funeral. Looking at yourself through the mirror. Staring at your face. Tears forming in your eyes that are quickly swiped away.
Finally leaving the house you head over to the cemetery. Walking over to the group of people. The person then starts talking but you weren't paying attention. All you could think about was how it was your fault for their death. That you could've prevented it instead of lashing out at them.
"Hey, you alright there?" Someone asks breaking you out of your thoughts not realizing that you were crying. "Yea, sorry I wasn't paying attention." You say lowly. "It's fine, let it all out."
It was time for the burial, but this time you decided to skip it. You just couldn't take it. Arriving home you immediately change out of the uncomfortable clothing.
You cried yourself to sleep blaming everything on yourself. "Why...why did it have to be this why. Why didn't I stop them from leaving...."
A week later, you were at your partners grave. Placing their favorite flowers besides their gravestone. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for getting mad at you. I'm so sorry for lashing out on you for something that you couldn't help and control."
"One last time...I need to be the one who takes you home," you cry out. Remembering the times you would get a call from them because they were too drunk to get home and comforting them.
"One last time...please I need to be the one who takes you home. I know I was being unfair, I'm so truly sorry."
"Please, just one more time. After that i'll let you go..."
It's been a month already, you were in bed hugging the stuffed animal you gave them. Remembering their reaction. Your tears wetting the bear.
"I just want to hold you once more..." You thought to yourself before you slowly sift off the sleep.
5 months later. There you were on that same counter, a bottle in your hand. Your head resting sideways on the counter. Staring over at the spot on the couch you sat on, the argument playing in your head over and over again.
"One last time, I need to be the one who takes you home (s/o name)" You blink, a tear falling. "Because I don't want to be alone..."
"Then I promise i'll let you go."
