Rex the Period and Silence

#16.2 The Socks

I was thinking of myself as a mischievous brother who wanted to tease his sister over and over again. In her room, the air conditioner was cooling down our body, we were laying down on the floor, side by side. Her face was so red, I wasn't sure whether it was because of me or it was because of the night sprint. All I knew was my heart was fluttering. If it wasn't because my buddy's word said that I had a feeling for her, I bet that moment wouldn't affect me at all. I didn't leave right away, I took a bath there as a reason to stay longer. It was just a simple reason until she hugged me and the air conditioner no longer helped me to cool the temperature down.

She said that was what the guy named Billy did to her earlier, to check whether he had a feeling for her or not, and she said that I was just a father to her. In a calm manner, I nodded. I declared to her that I was her brother while I was trying hard to assure myself that she was nothing but my sister. After that awkward moment, we didn't meet for quite sometimes but we contacted each other from time to time.

She went through several problems that the foreigners usually had to face. Communication was her biggest problem. She hated when someone was messing with her language skill, the most. She hated to be imperfect. She always tried her best to be perfect yet disappointed by the fact that she couldn't be perfect. She hated to be different yet she also hated to be ordinary. She had a lot of dreams still too shy to make it all happen. She was a complicated creature who had a simple mind. Now we are on this topic, I want to tell you, she is indeed the most complicated creature in this world. I still like her, though.

One of many things I like about her was she didn't hate to be drenched in sweat. She climbed the hill when the other girls were complaining about how hard for them to run in the place. I liked that and I have always like that. We bought a dinner after the evening run and bumped into my beloved coworkers. I had no idea what she was talking with them as I needed to take the ready-to-go chicken, as late as she spilled it out in front of the rice and fried chicken in her studio.

They were talking about I had a girlfriend. I assumed, Xin-Hui was the one who blabbered it out. She thought the girl I couldn't get over was Prisca, that's not true, but I let her perceived that thing the way she delighted, it was far better than she knew the truth. The fact that things between me and Prisca hadn't over kept bothering my mind. She plastered me through the phone non-stop. She continuously asked me, "What about us?" again and again. I didn't know what to do__she was the first one who last the longest time instead of tired from being ghosted by me.

I was ghosting her calls and messages because I meant to come up with a new plan to drive her away indirectly, but I was too busy to find the culprit and I enjoyed the moment between my 'sister' and me, too much. I postponed the answer all the time. Again, I was avoiding the problem. I knew exactly why I didn't know what to do--- it was all because I fabricated my own feeling. I kept denying the fact that the person I perceived as a little sister was not merely a sister to me. She was a girl to me, she was way too different from May, she wasn't my sister, she wasn't just 'she'. She was Silience, we weren't a family, there was always a chance for me to have a feeling for her, and I did.

One week long I didn't text Silience. I was organizing my thought, I was searching for the right way to put a period between Prisca and me. And finally, I found a way and asked her to meet up. Under the shining moon, I confessed to her about how I felt, "I don't like you. I'm so sorry__we can't be toget__," she slapped me right before I finished my line. She was indeed the fairy, her beautiful eyes were filled with tears, her pale face grew red as she held all of the anger, the wind was caressing her silky-black hair and she left me. She was the fairy and not a thief because she failed to steal my heart.

Silience was there, she witnessed it all and she wanted to know what was going on, after all, her friend was hurt by me. I told her that I'd call her. I didn't call her. I couldn't bring this matter to her. Prisca texted me to come to her room for the last time. I refused her, I remarked that we were over, I didn't want another one to see me got into her room, it would cause a great misunderstanding. Nevertheless, she begged me to. So, I said to myself, let's do it for the last time. I went there and unfortunately, the one I avoided caught me. She was playing with her other friend, Billy. I awkwardly nodded to her and get into Prisca's studio.

The moment the door was opened, she pulled me inside and hugged me. I shook it off with all of my might. "I love you," she said. "I don't love you, and we can't be together," I shook her off from me. Two hours long she cried preventing me to leave her. But it wasn't a thing worth to be thought twice. I told her smoothly that I had to leave, and I got out of her room. When I wanted to relax my mind by walking myself home, the sight of her hugging her male friend made me clenching my fist unintentionally.

After we built a quick conversation, I ended it with the assurance I would call her when I didn't even call her. Why should I be angry when I had no intention to tell her about my feeling? Why should I distance myself from her when we had no problem? I told myself that my feeling about her was erasable, everything would pass and she would become 'she', my little sister. So, after one month long, I eventually knocked on her door. I came here to convince myself that I could be cool about it. I could act normal as if I felt nothing. I was here to check her condition just like May used to do to her. I was about to bury my feeling until I grow old--or maybe she would never know, I was going to do that, up until the new guy named Calvin called her and now, she is choosing the cloth to go to the night market with him, Billy. She even picked up the call by saying, 'What?' and not 'Hello?' she had never said that to me. I can't let it slide.

"Who is that?" Ask me when I know exactly who was the caller.

"Billy, we are going to the night market!" She says excitedly. "Why? Don't say you can't let me go," asks her hesitantly. "I know you are my brother, but it doesn't mean you__."

"No, I'm not your brother and you know that," I clearly state that we are not a family. "Do you remember you said that I am the winner on the battle between him and me?"

"Yeah__oh James, you don't have to worry about that!" She says. "You are still the winner! You got her and she is yours! Prisca doesn't even care about him! She only cares about you!" and she misunderstands. "Calm down, man__are you thinking that Billy is__kind of cheating on you? I won't persuade her to choose him just because he is nice to me. You don't have to worry, he is nothing compared to you," I breathe of relief that she knew Billy is nothing compare to me.

"So, you are going?" She said that I am better than him, so is she going to choose him?

"Sure!" She walks to her wardrobe and chooses good cloth. "What should I wear?" she is talking to herself.

"What if I ask you to stay?" I don't want to let her go. "Will you stay?"

"Why should I?" She giggles "Is it because you are my brother?"

"No, because I am losing from the get-go and I need to catch up with him."

"What do you mean? You are the winner!" She can't get what am I talking about and who is the one I want. "How can I be the winner if you leave me to hang out with him?" I chuckle. "I don't wanna be your brother," I am no longer want to show my smile.

"Okay," she says awkwardly. "You don't have to be my brother then, I'm fine with that," seems like she is buffering what I just said.

"I'm sorry," I know I shouldn't say this word. "but I have a feeling for you__I like you, as a girl," as soon as the word comes out of my mouth, she doesn't move. "Is there any possibility for you and me to become 'us'?" It is the fool of me to say something I am sorry for. "Rex?" I call her once again. "Do you hear me?"

"No__," she hesitantly answers me. "You want__you say you like me? How about her? Have you forgotten that I hate this kind of man? I will be glad to be your shelter but you can't use me as your hiding place when the war breaks out between you two! Look__I'm so sorry__let's end it here before everything going too far." She opens the door for me. "Night." And push me out.

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To be continued...
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