Rex the Period and Silence

#9.2 The Footsteps of the Flat Shoes

(Sun, 5 June 2021)

I bought fried rice for us to eat today and text that I'll wait for her in front of her studio. But she had eaten, she ate it with my aunt. I waited in the park, in front of her studio, but the thought of I shouldn't behave like this held me back. I went home.

(Sat, 6 June 2021)

This time I went to the restaurant to pick her up, but she had left. My heart told me to give her a visit, yet Chica called me. 

(Mon, 7 June 2021)

She didn't come to the training as she had a meeting. I miss her. I haven't reconciled with Chica. It's funny how I don't feel like writing anything about her who was once my Venus.

 (Tues, 8 June 2021)

Finally, we met. Yet, I heard she had a date today. They ceaselessly teased her, but why did it feel like they screamed it out for me? I was supposed to hold myself from meddling in her love life, I failed. I wanted to know who was he. I helped her to bring the cardboards just to see who was he. And I gave her dinner in front of him, showing off that she was mine. When I wasn't hers and she wasn't mine, and we couldn't and can't be together. 

(Wed, 9 June 2021)

 ~Present~

I leave early to buy her a snack in the canteen, it is obvious enough I was intended to observe that guy before she is here. I keep searching for him when I am lining to pay in the convenience store. Where is he? Do they make it in the other place? I climb down the stairs and coincidentally bump into her.

"Hey!" she waves her hand. "Where are you going?" I ask her. "You're not doing it here?" "We'll do it at my studio." HER STUDIO?! "You and him?" you must be joking. Why should you do it at your studio? The canteen is much better than your studio!

"Without him, I can do nothing. What are you doing here?" she seems careless about it. Her sight falls into my hand that is holding onigiri, the snack for her. "Is that enough for you?" she thoughtlessly asks me.

"Is it enough for you?" I ask her back.

"Dinner? Of course not." I walk down and put it into her hands, "Don't just eat this," and I walk away. What am I doing right now? Did I look cool? I guess. If they are doing it at her studio, shouldn't I tag along? Am I crazy? I walk back to the swimming pool to take my bag and go home but I made my mind, I am crazy, I should tag along. 'Bbrr bbrr bbrr' the vibrate of my phone stops me. There's no need to check who is the sender.

We haven't fixed it up and I wish it needs no repair. It's all my fault. I shouldn't fall for someone else. I shouldn't let her hold our relationship alone. I shouldn't think twice to pick her call. I carry on my steps until she shows up in front of me. She is calling me and I try my best to avoid her. She walks toward me, "Why didn't you pick up? How long will you avoid me?" Chica stares at me. "Why didn't you call me?" she says and I dodge her eyes. "Look at me and give me an answer," if I can give her an answer, I wouldn't have stayed away from her. If I know how to get myself together, I wouldn't stand here searching for a reason. I should have hugged her and say I'm sorry. "Max," she loses her word. "Do you like her as much as you loved me?" her last question brings my eyes to her.

"Don't use her as the reason for our problem."

"Now, we are talking. Did you replace our memories with her?"

"If you are going to talk about her, I'll go."

"Why should you avoid me if you could have said that you won't quit? I know it's not because of me that we are like this. It's because of her. Tell me, if I'm wrong?" She is right. I'm not evading her because of her demand, it's purely because of me. I'm the one to blame, "I'm sorry, but please give me some more time," I shamelessly ask for her understanding. "I'll come back to you when I am ready."