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Trigger warning! There might be some heavy topics involved such as depression in this chapter! I myself got triggered, so please be careful!
Author's Note
"What were you doing?" His mother asked with a stern voice. "Namjoon was not looking at his mother, just at random places. His parents were staring at him, including his siblings. Namjoon was just on the couch wondering when he could go back to his room. The estimated time was after 1-2 hours.
Let me tell you a bit about Namjoon's family. Kim Sarah is the mother of the household, it's very obvious, to be honest. She is a judge at the supreme court. Kim Jihoon, this guy is the father. He is a cardiology professor in one of the biggest hospitals. Kim Han is the oldest child and he is a prosecutor. Kim Ari is the second oldest child, and she is a neurosurgeon in the same hospital as her father. Now back to the main story.
"I asked what you were doing in your room!" She said again with a louder voice when Namjoon didn't respond. His parents always expect him to be studying and basically not have a life of his own to enjoy. For example, no partying, no going to concerts, and more. Like this was one of the prime times in his life, a time where he could do many things. But since he is restricted by the burdens and walls created by his parent's, he can't. I am sure we have all experienced times like these, but it can't always be like this.
"I was watching Netflix-" And I oop- Namjoon might have just exposed himself. He mentally slapped his head. Maybe this conversation is going to be longer than expected. Namjoon just wanted to perish at that moment because he was not in the mood for what was going to happen next.
"You were what?!" His mother threw her mug at his face. Namjoon, fortunately, dogged it and stood up. This was normal for him by now. "You do know that your exams are coming up right!? And you are watching Netflix? What kind of disgrace are you?!" Namjoon said nothing, he just looked down at the floor. The floor was very interesting today.
"I also recently had a talk with one of your professors about your recent assignment. He showed me your grades." Namjoon held his breath. "WHY DID YOU GET 74 OUT OF 100?!" She shouted. To be honest it feels like it's a joke for some reason. I mean, at least he didn't get 10 out of 100. Namjoon sighed and still said nothing. "I asked...WHY!?" He just kept looking down at the floor as if he never heard his mother speak. She walked towards him and lifted his chin to make eye contact.
"So you are going to ignore me now, huh?" She slapped him...again and again. Namjoon's face didn't have a specific expression. It was just...nothing, eyelids nearly covering the whole eye, lips slightly parted, face slightly pale. He just didn't have the energy to reply anymore. He was both physically and mentally drained.
"Why do you keep getting such low grades on every single assignment and test? The last time you took an exam I had to literally hide my face in front of our relatives when they asked about your grades. Do you know how much you embarrass us every time? And despite knowing this you still don't try!"
Sarah held onto her head with frustration. "You can't do anything right! You can't study properly, get good grades, not even play that stupid piano of yours properly! Be ashamed of yourself." The part where she mentioned the piano hurt him a little bit.
"Maybe I shouldn't have given birth to you in the first place. I don't know what got into me that I wanted to bring you to this world. You just make us embarrassed and give us more responsibilities." Now this one was like a knife being jabbed into his heart. One thing that you need to know is that this guy can't get easily hurt...anymore. I am talking about emotionally. It's because he is just used to it and he has heard a lot of this many times. But that one sentence is something that can break him into pieces once again.
She took a long sigh after rubbing her temples. "You know what? You are not going to sleep today. You will be studying until tomorrow morning. You will also not be getting any food today. And if you even try to get an ounce of sleep, I will bring you to the basement."
She wasn't lying when she said that. The things that happen in the basement, are just...horrifying. Let's just say you can hear a lot of slashing sounds and screams...
"Now go, we will keep on checking on you. Also, your Netflix subscription is going to be cancelled for the rest of the year." She harshly pushed Namjoon when he wasn't moving. He eventually started climbing up the stairs and reached his room. Also, even though Namjoon's subscription was going to be canceled, he didn't have to worry. A true kdrama fan has his own way of watching their kdramas.
"Don't even dare closing your door." He heard his father yell. Namjoon went and sat on his bed for a little bit. He then heard someone enter his room. It was his sister. "Mom was right, she really shouldn't have given birth to you," She said with a smirk and left.
Namjoon looked down and tears rolled down his face. He just wanted to cry. Everything was miserable, but he pretended to be ok. Everything was broken, but he pretended that he was fine. There are two sides to every human. And for Namjoon, he had a bright, cheerful, positive side and a dark, broken, pessimistic, and disturbed side.
Namjoon honestly has been like this for many years. Though with the help of counselling, he got out of his suicidal stage. He criticises himself less, he doesn't do too much self-harm and has a slightly better sanity level. If it wasn't for his parent's then he would have been out of depression by now. That was because he got counselling in secret. His parent's don't really believe in mental illnesses, so when they found out that he was taking counselling, they immediately cancelled it for him saying that he should just 'quit' out of it. IF ONLY LIFE WAS THAT EASY!
Namjoon's parents were never reported for abuse. That's because Namjoon never told anyone about it. He didn't even know that it was abuse, he just thought that it was a way of his parents making him a better person. He believed that someday he will also be loved by his parent's.
Namjoon was never really loved as much as his siblings. Which he just took it in a positive way, thinking that it might be hard for his parents to give their love to all three children. But the thing was that they never cared for him as much as they cared for the other two. The two were like precious treasures to them and Namjoon was just like a random stranger living with them. Even after these actions, Namjoon loved his parent's dearly, even now. They did show him bare minimum kindness and love but that also disappeared when he couldn't live up to their expectations. Though they never beat him up.
Not until the day when he told them that he was seriously going to become a professional pianist. He told them that he will do his hardest and make it to Julliard. That's when they snapped on him. They almost isolated him from that world, so he doesn't think of it again. They even locked up the piano, so that he wouldn't play it. He was only allowed to play it on his birthday and on days when relatives came, which was extremely rare. They started beating with cruelty and ruthlessness. They destroyed him.
Namjoon went to his desk after wiping his tears. He was still crying, but he had to study. He opened his textbook and laptop and began studying. Tears dropped down on his book, making it wet. He couldn't properly see his screen since it was being blurred by the pool of tears in his eyes. He was close to hyperventilating, but he tried his best to keep it inside him. He can't let them hear him cry.
Throughout the whole night, he kept feeling slightly cold. He thought that the window was open, so he just ignored it. But...the window was not even close to being open and Namjoon didn't even turn on the AC nor the fan.
I know this story is kinda stuck in one place, but I just wanted to really express some feelings, so I hope you understand.
