Can I Unveil What's Hidden?

Monterey pt. 2

when i focus my eyes upon the pelican
soaring 2 feet above the cresting wave
which rolls in harder because of high tide
i take a breath, but not for too long
so the oceanic air will give me hope
the gentle curling of the water
hugs the rocks in a cold embrace
like i wanted us to do, 2 minutes ago
when i scooted closer to you on the blue bench
and longed for your pinky finger to touch mine
but instead you wandered off
down to the sand, and i followed you
our shoes off now, and i'll carry them
when i wiggled my toes and felt
the tiny pebbles go between them
i tensed a bit because i also heard
the geese calling out above us
flying in a V formation
with my neck arched back
and my eyes closed it felt like i could
become the sea and be one with it
like i wish i could with you
its colder than normal but not cloudy
the sun doesn't want to give us too much warmth
or else we'd fall in love
how horrific would that be?
the rows of beams holding up the dock
catch my eye because the tar that's lathered
upon them glistens and the light reflects on your face
and it makes me smile but
it also weighs my heart down
because i know you'll never want me
as much as i desire to reside here
because the cypress trees never disappoint
like you do
the flora along the cliff sides that hang down
dont hurt me with harsh words
like you do
ignoring this, we keep walking
we stopped at Sister City park
and laughed at the seal who took a rest
on a rock not too far from shore and then disappeared down below
because it had more important things to do
we saw all the yachts in the harbor
and the multicolored restaurants
and the runners who smiled at you as they passed by
how you tried to hide your pride behind
your face as your eyes looked downward
to let me know that you were unbothered
is it too much to have you?
when we walked through the shade
the temperature dropped and i felt
how dramatic it feels to be close to you
but then we finally made it to San Carlos
the long strip of beach before us
and i paused to look west to east
the never ending coastal skyline
and the grey ocean blending in with the horizon
i wanted to climb on the ruined walls
fixated in the sand
with the blue and red graffiti stained on the sides
but that wouldn't help us or our situation
i don't want to have to admit
that i've been trying to push you to the
back of my aching mind
or that we aren't a perfect fit
because you aren't happy with where
we're at or where we're going
if you want temporary beauty or infatuation
go to Carmel-by-the-Sea
it only lasts so long
or if you care for danger and hysteria
take a drive to Big Sur
let the edges of the road give you dread
spend some time between the redwood trees
go take monochrome photographs in Ventura
with your worn out camera
and watch the moon set
there's no commitment, i promise
but when you're ready to figure this out
stay in Monterey with me
and we can do this again and again
until you know exactly what you want
because if not
i'll be forced to migrate
because like i said before
i am a drifter, a chameleon soul who wants
to lay their head upon wherever i please
and call it home
and sometimes i take drives at night
on the california coastline
to escape my fantasies that prevent me from leaving
but these fantasies can only keep me here
for so long
you fuel them and keep them burning
but without you a town is just a town
i'm wandering the streets, crossing the roads
finding out where my mind will lead me
Monterey can be what it is, without me
but without you I don't know what
my withering soul wants me to do
so i think i'll stay one last night
because i can no longer tell you that
i love you, i love you, i love you
so let's dance into forever and make
others understand how wonderful it
is to know you
because you're slipping through my fingers
like the sand on the shores