Can I Unveil What's Hidden?

for as long as i can remember
it was as easy and as simple
as opening my mouth
to let the words come up from
my lungs into my throat and rolling
off of my tongue that is
sometimes hard to hold
but as i became older and wiser
and let the mundane mistakes rob me
of my passion for life and servitude to others
i knew my self portrait wasn't finished
and my chest was open too wide
so i sewed it shut and let my sanctuary
be hidden in the middle of the labyrinth
underneath my skull
the passing of time created a wedge
of space between myself and the ones
who i allowed to have the capability
of going inside my chest and brain
anytime they'd like
they were able to see it all
like watching an explicit movie
and twinging everytime they saw something
that made them uneasy
then they saw me for what i was,
like spilled red wine
on an ivory rug, unable to soak up the
unwanted color, and left with the disappointment
of never being able to remove the stain
this wedge that i created lasted
longer than i thought
and i continued to keep myself locked
inside of a cage made of my bones
and when i sat there with my legs crossed
cold, vulnerable, and eager to understand
the reasons why i like to hide myself away
from the ones who try to make everything okay
i came to a solid conclusion that
came from years of quiet collusions
i got a glimpse of whats been pre-written
the story of my life but i call it a vision
it comes everytime i make a bad decision
but i can't call it quits without a prescription
somebody hurt me a long time ago
it took time for my heart to heal and regrow
just waiting for the moment that i would definitely know
was like writing a letter waiting for the ink to show
i found a better way of life
perhaps i could live forever in paradise
but the days like today consume my body with strife
releasing the rage within me until i pay the full price
for my sins, my errors, my transgressions
you'd think that it'd finally teach me a lesson
but drinking from the wine i spilled,
that was poisoned with aggression
intoxicated my true intentions and further progressed them
but maybe it was time that i finally let them
take over my soul so i'd never address them
and when i had thought i had firmly grasped them
they came undone in front of your face and i
got embarrassed that you'd finally known them
but maybe it was okay that i'd finally gotten
what was coming to me because my heart became rotten
i'd take a seat in the elevator, go down while eating cotton
and solve everyone's problems by finally being forgotten
and now i'm going to grab your head
and reach my hands into your eye sockets
pull you in close, close enough so you can
hear me breathe
and squeeze and stick my fingers in your brain
like it's a ripe summer peach
so i can give you the one thing
you never thought you'd need
the reasons why i feel what i feel
and who i thought i was supposed to be
but like i said, this is only a glimpse of what
has been pre-written
and no, its not wrong to assume
that i can't live with my own decisions
but now that i have your undivided attention
can i begin to unveil what's been hidden?