twelve

145 12 1

by night-talks

by night-talks

im back. : )

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I awoke in the morning to an unsurprising 14 missed calls and 22 text messages. I also wasn't surprised to see them all from Ashton, and one text from Calum.

Ashton Irwin <3: Jade... I know it's late but I also know you're up watching Trailer Park Boys. Please pick up.

Ashton Irwin <3: Please. I'm fucking begging you.

I shut off my phone and collected the pair of jeans lying on the floor by the couch I passed out on, the distant smell of mint vodka covering them. I quickly put on a pair of shorts, brushing my fingers through my hair as I walked out of Luke and Michael's home to my car. I drove home with the windows down, the cool breeze of that fall day running through my hair.
As I got to the apartment at what I was surprised to find out was at 7:00 am, I quietly entered inside. I stepped on the flowers sitting at the door, shutting my door quickly and passing out onto the couch. Just as I felt my eyes begin to shut, my phone rang. Too tired to even open my eyes, I answered with a raspy "hello?".
"Jade! Thank fucking christ. Where are you?" the annoying fuckboy shouted. "I'm sorry, who is this?" I mocked, the all too familiar voice that was moaning my name just a few days ago pounding in my head through my hangover. "Who the hell do you think it is? Ghandi?" Ashton mocked right back. "I don't know, is Ghandi a misogynistic asshole who doesn't know the difference between saying 'i'm upset with you' and 'you're a slut, which i'll have you know is the stupidest term ever. Sluts don't even exist! Just because i'm a girl and like to get fucked is bad, but when an asshole like you wants his dick sucked at all hours of the day he's understandable, a fucking hero. God you make me so fucking mad!" I preached at him like a damn Mormon with a bible of feminism. We had many previous discussions (arguments) about things like this, but I never gave up on preaching to him about the glory of feminism and why dicks like him need to get a grip.

"Look, you can shout all you want about the horrors of misogyny if you just tell me where you are so I can talk to you. Are you at Calum's again? I swear to fucking christ-" I bit my lip, practically ripping a hole in it as I cut him off.
"You'll never learn. Why did I think you would? You're like any other guy. Don't like that? Why don't you 'not all men' me, huh? Make me even more pissed. Ashton, you've got a good dick but you're dick personality gets in the way of it. If I haven't made it clear enough, I've been interested in you for way too long to be this patient. I've had e-fucking-nough. Stay the hell away from me."

"Jade!"

I hung up.
I grabbed a crushed cigarette pack from my back pocket, lighting one quickly as I felt tears stream down my cheeks. Was I really crying over him? Ashton, this misogynistic dickweed that would rather tell my why i'm a slut instead of asking me out to dinner if he had a weird fetish for only sticking to one girl at a time while banging them? Yes, I was, and I hated myself for it.
I let the smoke cascade over me like a coffin of extreme anger from a horny, tired and trashy girl in her 20's. I finish the cigarette in less that 5 minutes, licking my lips as I remember the gram of weed sitting in my bedroom drawer. I grab my bong from the closet and the gram, lighting up quickly. I opened my window, letting the strong smell of the drug rummage around the neighborhood, haunting children and Christians.
It didn't take but a few hits until I was high as fuck, and I knew the second my head began to spin and my fingers went towards Ashton's number on my phone that I made a mistake numbing my senses. "Jade?" Ashton questioningly answered.
"Listen the fuck up, dick!" I slurred a bit, smoke escaping my lips as I let myself finish the hit I had just taken. "Jade, look-" "I said listen! You're a huge asshole, and I want you to know that."
"I do know that."
"Good!" I shout, laying back on my bed.
"I had a big fucking crush on you, and I let you use me. You should be appreciative, because i'm not that easy! I take someone buying me a few drinks and maybe some pizza. You did that, and that's cool and all, and I hoped you'd just leave me alone forever after that, but no. You had to suck me into your life like the asshole you are!" Tears were coming down again. "I don't care how hot or famous you are, you don't get to just lead me on. That isn't fucking cool, you hear me! Not cool at all." I was practically sobbing into the phone.

"I'm not leading you on, Jade." Ashton says quietly. I hear footsteps from down the hall and Ashton hangs up the phone. He enters my room, knowing the door is never locked. "I wouldn't just... lead you on." Ashton was looking at the ground now. My head was still spinning. "I know you're high, I could smell it from downstairs. But i'm not good with the whole... how do you call it... "relationship" thing." Ashton bites his lip, his hair covering his face.
"I don't want to listen to you preach your feelings to me." I say with a completely stoic face. "I want an apology; a real one. I want you to own up to not just being an asshole, but a misogynistic asshole." I say, crossing my arms. He nods. "I didn't know what misogynistic meant so I looked it up, and you're right. I am." He looks up, a disappointed smile on his face while his eyes are bloodshot. "I call girls sluts all the time, and I don't think twice about it. When I saw you with Calum... I just-" I cut him off again. "I don't want excuses, say you're sorry."
He purses his lips, nodding again. "I don't think twice about it." He repeats. "And I can't say i'm going to change right here or over night, because i'm just as sexist as any other guy you've mercy fucked." My lip is quivering. "But don't doubt for a second i'm not willing to learn." I look up, meeting his eyes for the first time in a few days. The same eyes I saw when I bumped into him on the streets, when he kissed me, when we had sex way too many times for our own good... "And you can teach me how to be someone you'd be willing to be with, hell maybe for the rest of your life." He throws his arms up and shrugs. "So yeah, there you go. I'm sorry, alright?" He wipes his eyes with his faded blink-182 t-shirt.
I take a shaky breath, standing on my wobbly knees to walk over to him slowly, hugging him tightly. He returns the hug, his tears falling onto my shoulder as mine fell onto his shirt. He kissed the top of my head, mumbling a "thank you."

I think I loved him.

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how 'bout them apples huh. Hey, if you're liking this story, do me a favor and check out my new Larry Stylinson story called 'Night Walker, Night Talker.' It would mean the world to me!! Hope you enjoy, next chapter will be out soon. -sam