Shadowsinger

Chapter 31

The rebels were preparing to leave the continent. Azriel's shadows had delivered the news an hour ago, but the words kept echoing inside his mind, he'd have to go and scout their likely landing points, he'd have to go today, and he'd have to go alone, or perhaps with Cassian. But, he winced at the thought, he couldn't take Gwyn, and she'd hate him for it. She'd hate him, but she couldn't fly, and with the possibility of armed rebel Illyrian scouts, anyone who accompanied him had to be able to fly, even if she asked Feyre to re-summon her wings, Gwyn couldn't fly, it would be far too dangerous to bring her with him. He'd spent the last hour not planning as he should have been, but worrying about how to tell her. Now, seated at his desk, a map spread out in front of him, his mind was too loud to find the calm he needed to be able to think,

"When are you leaving?"

"What?" Gwyn had slipped in without him noticing, and was now leaning against the doorframe,

"Since the shadows were so worked up earlier, you've been quiet all morning, and the map, I'd assume the rebels are preparing to invade and you want to check out their landing sites." Got in in one, as per usual, he shouldn't even be surprised any more, 

"It's too dangerous for you, without flight you'll be vulnerable," he started before realizing, she hadn't asked when they were leaving, but when he was, "You're okay with not coming?" She shrugged, 

"It's not like I want to let you go into danger without me, but I can't fly, I assume that's why I can't come, and you have Cass, if either of you is worrying about looking after me you'll just be in more danger. Besides, I have things I can do here, I haven't seen enough of Nesta and Emerie since we got back from the continent, we have lunch today. I know you've got a load of reports to go through, so I can start on those, and I'm not blind, Az, I know Maddy's around, so she can help me." Azriel wasn't the slightest bit surprised that she knew that, Maddy had probably deliberately made sure Gwyn had noticed her, not that it would take much, but he snorted anyway, "Oh, and Madja wants to see me about trying to improve the varieties of herbs we have, she thinks Elain and I might be able to manage something." Elain? Azriel blinked in surprise, and Gwyn chuckled, her shoulders shaking as she shook her head gently at him,

"She was just surprised before, and she apologized, and well, I like her. Neither of us is stupid enough to let some guy prevent us from being friends."

"Well, speaking as some guy," Azriel rolled his eyes, "I'm glad, and I feel the need to apologize again for being an idiot,"

"A big idiot,"

"A big idiot," he agreed, but Gwyn sighed, 

"She reminds me of Catrin." She added quietly, barely more than a whisper, "Do you know where she's buried, Cat I mean?"

"I do. I buried her, and the others." Tears filled Gwyn's beautiful eyes, so full of mirth not one minute ago, "Once you get home can you come with me to visit her?"

"Of course," Azriel hadn't realized he was moving until Gwyn had her arms around his neck, her face buried in his chest,

"I wish she could have met you, she'd have loved it here, she was always the brave one, the one who always dragged me into trouble. We snuck out one night, one of the others could winnow, and, we didn't go far, just to a nearby town, a bar, she taught me to play cards that night, and held my hair back the next morning while I was throwing up." She lifted her head and smiled, "She'd wipe to floor with Cass at cards, and I'd love to see his face afterwards, but, I just have so much to tell her."

"We can go any time you want to, just tell me, and anything else can wait."

"Not now, I want to know that you're safe first, and that we're not about to be attacked, but later, when you have time,"