𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝘔𝘈𝘡𝘌 𝘙𝘜𝘕𝘕𝘌𝘙

15 ~ 𝙥𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚

Newt

 I just needed some air. That was all – or so I told myself. In reality, I was panicking. How could I let that happen? I was about to lose another one of my friends to the Maze. I couldn't handle that, especially since I could do nothing to help.

I leaned against the Council Room wall and closed my eyes. My ear was pressed against the wood, and I could hear muffled voices from inside. We were only separated by a few inches of wood, but I've never felt farther from them. They were celebrating – they were happy for Lottie. I should be there supporting her as well, but I couldn't bring myself to go back.

The more positive side of me knew that she could survive the Maze, especially since her ribs had mostly healed. She was fast, too, and smart. She was the perfect mold for a Runner, and still I disapproved. But why? Why was it such an issue for me?

I heard the door open, and the voices grew louder for a moment before it closed again. It was getting dark outside, so I couldn't see the person's face. However, I would recognize the small silhouette anywhere. Lottie. She scanned the Glade for a second, before her eyes landed on me. She came closer. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked.

"Never better," I replied shortly.

"Are you sure? You left pretty suddenly."

"I didn't think you'd notice. But I'm fine-"

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly. I raised my eyebrows. She was the one who was sorry?

"What for?"

"I know you really don't want me to be a Runner." I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up a hand and grinned. "Don't even try to deny it; you've been different ever since I first mentioned it. But can I just ask why?"

I sighed. "Minho goes out into the Maze every buggin' day, and I'm stuck in here not knowing whether or not he'll make it back. He's my best friend. I worry about him every day. Now that you'll be going out there too, I'll worry twice as much."

Lottie smiled. "It'll be okay," she said. "You know how fast I am; I can get away from a Griever no problem," she boasted.

"I know you're fast." I agreed. "But sometimes it's not about speed. It's about survival, and instincts. Those Grievers are ruthless, they don't care who they hurt."

"I know that," she said. "But that's why I have to do this. I don't think I'll be able to stand it if more of you get hurt. Watching Gally break down... It made me feel helpless. Gally was one person I thought would never crack." She wasn't looking at me anymore. Her eyes were glazed over. "I have to help them."

I knew that I shouldn't be keeping her from being a Runner. It was what she wanted. She wanted to protect us, and could I blame her for that? I had wanted to protect the others too, when I became a Runner. But I had failed them. And now, it was her turn. I assumed she'd do much better than I ever could.

"I hope you have fun being a Runner. I did," I told her. It was the truth – running was the only thing that took away the pain of living. But then I broke my leg, and that all went away. Oh, well. All good things must come to an end, I guess.

"And I hope you find a way to cope without me here," Lottie teased.

"Oh, don't worry. I won't have an issue with that," I joked back, but secretly, my heart sank. I did spend most of my day with her. What was I going to do now that she would be gone? I would be so bored, with nothing to distract me.

The door to the Council Room opened again, and this time all of the Gladers spilled out. They all made a beeline for the kitchens, where Frypan was nearly done with dinner. He had to skip out on the Gathering to prepare it.