𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝘔𝘈𝘡𝘌 𝘙𝘜𝘕𝘕𝘌𝘙

22 ~ 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪

Newt

I wiped a bead of sweat from my brow and huffed, wishing that the med hut had air conditioning. It was unbearably hot, since there were seven of us surrounding Lottie's cot. The Med-jacks had informed me and Alby that she would be waking up soon, and somehow Minho, Mitch, and Julian had heard and insisted that they joined us.

"How long has she been asleep?" Alby asked.

"Three days," Clint replied, coming over to the bedside table and setting a tray down. It held a glass of water and some headache pills for Lottie when she woke.

During these three days, Zart and Alby practically had to force me to stay in the Gardens and work. All I wanted to do was stay in the med hut and pester Clint and Jeff with questions. Is she eating? What's her temperature? When will she wake up? When will she wake up? When will she wake up? They were very annoyed with me.

A soft groan split the silence. I looked up and glanced around at the boys. None of them seemed to have made the sound. My lips formed a small grin; it must have been Lottie. Then, I was sure of it, because I saw her finger twitch on the mattress.

"I think she's waking up!" I notified the others, and they all pressed in closer. We watched as Lottie fidgeted for about a minute before opening her eyes. They widened for a second in panic when she saw all of us hovering over her eagerly.

"Hey," she croaked. She shot up in bed.

"Woah! Take it slow, why don't you?" I said, handing her the glass of water and a pill. She swallowed the pill and drank the entire glass in one sitting.

"I remember..." she said when she was finished. Her voice was back to normal now.

"Remember what?" Alby said impatiently, leaning forward so his chest was pressed against my back. I grunted uncomfortably and turned to glare at him, but it was halfhearted because I knew there wasn't much room in the med hut anyway.

"So much... Alby. I think I know how to get out of here."

Fifteen minutes later, the seven of us were staring at Lottie, who had just finished her story. She had her hands folded in her lap and was looking down at them in shame. She had just given us every detail from her Changing, with nothing more than a small headache. No one has ever done that before; whenever they would try to tell the rest of us things, they would collapse and clutch their head in pain.

It turned out that the Cliff was the answer all along. I always knew that there was something about it – it was there for a purpose. But I knew that when we did try to escape, it would be very dangerous. The Cliff was where the Grievers came from, and we were planning on going in. Not all of us would survive long enough to see the outside world. I knew that.

"What I'm wondering is what the thing was that made you want to come up in the Box yourself?" Jeff asked, and then blushed as if he thought that he wasn't allowed to ask a simple question. It was a valid one, though – Lottie had been very vague about that part.

For some reason, a look of anxiety passed over her face before looking between me and then Alby. "Mitch and Julian can't be here for this one," she said, and sent them an apologetic look when they erupted in protests.

"Hey, just because we're the youngest doesn't mean-"

"It's not because you're young," Lottie said gently. "It's because you don't know all of the details about what I'm about to tell them."

"Then give us the details!"

"No," Alby snapped, using his leadership to usher them out of their chairs and out the door. "Wait out there. And don't even think about listening at the door." Mitch immaturely stuck his tongue out at Alby and stomped his foot. Julian threw an arm around him and led him away with one last backward glare before Alby slammed the door.

"Tell us," said Minho, who had been strangely silent this whole time.

"Fine," Lottie said before taking a big breath and saying the very last thing I would have expected. "Newt, it has to do with your attempted suicide."

The entire room seemed to freeze. No one seemed to breathe for a moment. My fingernails were pressing into the palms of my hands. So that was what she saw in the Changing. The very thing I didn't want her to know about.

"What?" I said, because I couldn't form any other words.

"Yes," she said, eyes filling with tears and her tone of voice lowering several octaves. "I saw it happen."

It just kept getting worse and worse. She saw it? I didn't even want to see the looks on the others' faces.

"I was just coming to check up on you, just like every day, and I just... saw it. I was a wreck," she let out a small, emotionless laugh. "I was yelling at everybody, saying that I couldn't stand it anymore. Until Thomas told me that he agreed, and he and I formed a plan. I think... I think that day was the reason that I betrayed WICKED."

I was glaring at the ground, knowing fully well that my neck and face were red with embarrassment. I hated this; everyone looking at me with pity. I didn't need to be pitied. I didn't need to talk. Just shut up, shut up, shut up, she had no right to be speaking so calmly about that day, as if it were hers.

I stood so quickly that my chair toppled over and landed on Alby's foot. I didn't even say sorry as he hissed through his teeth and rubbed the spot. I stormed through the door, just wanting to get away. I hated being angry with Lottie, but shouldn't I be? She broke boundaries, and right in front of everyone, too...

I was probably just being overdramatic. Storming away for attention, getting all upset for nothing. Bloody hell, you're stupid. Now I was going to have to go back and apologize. Not now – later, when I would be able to speak without bursting into tears.

When I finally went back to the med hut, everyone fell silent when I walked through the door. I sighed; I had been expecting this. "Please don't stare," I said quietly. Everyone tore their glance away from me immediately, desperately trying to look at anything but me. Under different circumstances, it would have been funny. I opened my mouth to apologize, but Lottie beat me to it.

"Newt, I'm so sorry," she said, sounding close to tears herself. "I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have said it that way, as if it didn't matter, I should have asked you first and should have known that you would get upset because-"

"I shouldn't have gotten that upset," I sighed. "It was unnecessary."

She shook her head violently. "No, it was definitely necessary. You have every right to be angry at me; I wouldn't blame you if you hated me now-"

I offered a half-grin. "Now you're being dramatic. I don't hate you. You just didn't know."

She hugged me, and I didn't pull away. "Well, I'll hate me for you," she said. "That was really insensitive of me."

"It's okay," I insisted. "I was a baby about it anyway, its fine. Here I am crying about feelings when we have a Maze to solve," I grinned down at her. "So, I'm still not really understanding – why did you come here again? Why would you leave all that to be trapped here in this hellhole?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Minho piped up from the corner, bugging his eyes out at me. "She came because of you!"

I blinked. "You're telling me that you came here because of me. Because of me?" Lottie nodded. I threw up my hands. "You ruined your whole life, Lottie, and for what-"

"WICKED had already ruined my life," she pushed back. "They took you away – all of you. Besides, it was worth it. Look at us now! We're getting out of here!"

There was a cheer from everyone in the med hut, a sudden elation from the knowledge that this Maze was not going to be enclosing us forever. I did not join in the celebrations. I stood in shock; why would anyone do such a thing for somebody as broken as me?

There was a quick knock on the door, and it opened a crack to reveal Mitch's fearful green eyes. "Guys, you might want to see this." 

A/N 

Chapter 22! Title chapter; roll credits! Vote if you liked it (or not, that's okay too)

- 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭