another stupid hate song

Chapter 33

The three months following New Year's are the worst.

Niall had picked up the pieces that were left of Harry on the 1st of january at around 1 a.m. He found him freezing and still crying on the ground.

At first, Harry had refused to tell him why he was so pathetic but he gave up in his flat two weeks later when they were watching a movie. He had bursted into tears and told Niall everything.

Niall had been an amazing support, as he always had been and Harry was so grateful to have him in his life. even when he said Harry was an idiot. He was not wrong.

During these three months, Harry didn't leave his flat except when he had to go to school, went to Niall's or his mum's. But else, he usually avoided going out when the boys asked to do something.

Harry was pathetic, really. He also tried writing songs and composing music but to no avail.

His mind couldn't focus on anything for more than three minutes, always wandering back to Louis and how he looked that night. Sad and heartbroken but still utterly beautiful. Harry sometimes found himself looking at his phone, at the only picture of Louis that he ever took and then he cried.

Louis and Harry didn't talk anymore or even looked at each other. When they saw each other during class or in the hallway, they always did so they didn't have to see the other one.

The very worst was practice. Harry and Louis tried to get away from practicing together, rehearsing on their own or with their backups. But as the day of the representation approached, they couldn't really avoid working together.

That was why, right now, Harry and Louis were arguing with James and Jake inside the empty theater, everyone had left a long time ago.

"You have to work together, okay? You may not get along for whatever reason but it is your future which depends on it" Jake said, clearly fed up with them both

"You won't always work with people you like but will have to do it. Next week you're working together or else I lock you both up in the theater until you work with one another" James threatened

And uh, Harry never saw any of them angry before and they looked scary. He wouldn't mess with them but he didn't want to work with Louis and let him know how miserable he was. Harry was almost sure that he couldn't look Louis in the eyes without crying. Harry might have been the reason things didn't work out, but he didn't change his mind about not wanting to act on his feelings, but he couldn't erase them so he erased Louis instead.

It didn't really work because everywhere he was walking in his flat, there was the image of Louis making him pancakes, smoking by the window, singing in the shower while Harry was on the couch, or cuddling him in Harry's bed. And it was painful.

"Okay" Louis' voice said

Harry, for the first time in what felt like forever, turned his head to Louis and actually looked at him. Louis was already looking back.

"We'll manage"

And Harry wanted to cry at how much Louis sounded like he didn't want to. It was understandable, really, but it still hurt.

"Harry?" James asked

"Uh yeah" he nodded, looking away from Louis who refused to look at him or even in his way.

They hadn't even talked once, always saw their friends separately -if Harry were to go out. Harry faked being sick when he knew Louis'd be there and Louis probably did the same. Harry didn't even do anything for his birthday, he just stayed with his mum and watched really bad TV programs, but he enjoyed his mum's company.