𝐒𝐊𝐙 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

NOT RIGHT! RIGHT?: SEUNGJIN

part of me is slowly dying. won't you hold me and say you love me?

!! OCD !!

obsessive -compulsive disorder (OCD) is a disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations that make them feel driven to do something repetitively. many have the misconception that it only branches out to solely finding things that are out of place to be terribly nerve-wrecking. however, there is more to the disorder than just that.

for example, seungmin comes back to the dorm every day and hears an irritating voice in his head that never seems to go away.

" hey seungmin! you better arrange hyunjin's colour pencils in order or he might die! "
it sounded silly or unrealistic to others, but the voice was very serious and capable of making seungmin submit to it. the voice had seungmin at its disposal. such intrusive thoughts led seungmin to where he was right now.

he knelt on the wooden floor of hyunjin's art room, carefully taking the colour pencils out of their mismatched placing. hyunjin being an avid artist, had more than 56 colour pencils.. a total of 120 shades to be exact. seungmin was about to give up when the intrusive voice spoke again, " don't forget! if you don't do this, something bad would happen to hyunjin... "

the notorious voice nagged at seungmin again, making his grip on his hair tighten, causing his knuckles to gradually turn white.

" must be clean.. no mess... "
seungmin muttered to himself, eyes wide with tears threatening to spill over the rim. it was a deadly routine that broke into a vicious cycle that still tormented him daily.

after a whopping one hour and a few more minutes, seungmin managed to arrange all the colours in an orderly manner, sighing in relief when the voice no longer occupied his heavy mind. after which, he made sure to place the case of colour pencils back onto the shelf on art supplies and canvases, making sure to close the lights as well.

the rest of the day went by in a whizz, the group huddling over the same couch, watching Hometown Cha Cha Cha, praising seungmin once again when they heard the OST he recorded.

one particular compliment made seungmin's ears tint an alarming shade of red, coming from hyunjin.
" my seugminnie did so well! "
he felt the older slide his slender hands into his fluffy set of hair, combing his hair into an adorable side part before watching the fringe fall back into place.

all was going well, seungmin slyly leaning onto hyunjin's shoulders, minho and jisung wrapped up in a blanket, jeongin and Felix in the kitchen getting ice cream while chan and changbin were in the studio.

" hey hyunjin hyung, I have to.. go to the toilet.. wait no! to sleep... don't wait up on me. "
the boy rarely stuttered, making hyunjin feel slightly out of place. nonetheless, the elder nodded his head, flashing the shorter his signature warm smile. however, hyunjin couldn't push down the unsettling feeling that soon bubbled in his chest.

he was caught off guard when he heard a bang resounding in another room.

yes, the voice was back again. seungmin just couldn't catch a break could he? the voice was back to torment him once again, never cutting his host any slack. " did you switch off the lights? i bet the box of colours are crooked. hyunjin wouldn't like that would he? he may just.. loose his life because of it! "
of course, it may have sounded silly to those who were not suffering from such a disorder, but it really affected seungmin greatly.