Zyon: The Alpha Of The North

Chapter Thirty-Five

He leads me out onto the terrace. We stand shoulder to shoulder.

I suddenly begin to feel that this was a bad idea. Telling Zyon everything? Do I trust him enough for that?

He looks at me patiently, probably feels the anxiety and paranoia racing through me. One of his hands lands atop my wrist to hold me in place. He runs smoothing circles, that instantly calm me.

There's a part of me that hates this bond- hates that he can manipulate my emotions, in a moment when I feel most panicked.

It's now or never, Kat. I tell myself.

"There really isn't much to it." I say. "I don't know why or how. I mean really, I spent years researching why I could detect you when I was twelve. I found no answers. So as far as offering an explanation for that. I can't."

His eyes narrow, but he nods.

"I don't think you fully understand- you couldn't understand actually- the repercussions of finding your mate when you're twelve." I say.

"Repercussions?" He scoffs. "Of course, you would see a mate as a repercussion."

I clasp his hand, interlacing our fingers as I turn to face him.

"I never saw you as a repercussion. The mate bond- it just- it took over my life. It wrecked my life. My life became solely and solely about you. There is a reason we detect our mates when we are eighteen and not when we're fifteen, right after transitioning. It takes time to adjust. Could you even imagine not having a wolf but having a mate?" I say.

"I'm sorry, Katherine. But I don't really see a problem. All you had to do was come tell me." He spits out.

My anxiety dissolves, and my anger goes up a notch. He's not even trying to understand.

I loosen my hand from his and jab a finger into his chest. "You're not even trying to understand. You really think me coming and telling you at the age of twelve, fourteen, or fifteen would have been taken very well by you? I would have become the school joke, perhaps even a joke in your eyes."

"You can't know that." He argues, grasping my wrist again and moving my finger away from his chest, "And I suggest you don't do anything that would irk my wolf right now. It's already very hard to keep him in control."

I roll my eyes, trying to loosen my grip from his. This seems to be pointless. He's never going to understand. He doesn't let go, instead turns us over so my back is against the bannister as he cages me in.

I look away from him, hesitating. I'm not so sure I want to tell him anymore.

Then he says softly, "Even if I don't fully understand Katherine, I'm listening."

I feel tears threaten to pool out of my eyes. I don't want him just to listen. I want him to understand.

"You don't understand the extent to which my life became about you. I wasn't just following you around the school, because I had a little crush. Navigating a mate bond without a wolf wasn't easy at all. We get to have lives before we have our mates. I never got a life. All my hobbies, interests, everything- they were about you." I pause. I can't read the emotions in his eyes, can't even feel his emotions. He's somehow blocked me out and it frustrates me to no end.

But I continue anyways, "Even the fact that I became a warrior, was because I was thinking about becoming an Alpha's mate. Nothing was mine. And I needed something to be mine."

"I was yours. Why did you need anything else?" He says.

I scoff. "That's ridiculous and you know it. I don't actually believe in the notion that mates are everything. Everyone needs their own interests."