The Chaos Squad

Make More Friends, Dude

Loki was very visibly unsure of going to the compound but Shuri noticed just how bad it was when they stepped inside. It took Peter's enhanced strength and a spare Iron Legion suit to drag him to the common room, all while he was hissing and scratching at the floor like an upset cat. Thankfully, a wild Thor appeared and scooped his little brother into a hug before the cat-boy could run away again.

"I'm so glad you're safe."

"Get the hell off me!"

Peter and Shuri doubled over laughing. Then they spotted the slightly confused scientist in the background. Imagine a cat spotting a toy mouse. Prolonged eye contact, pouncing. And then the endless fangirl/boying that a cat would not do. By the time Loki was released from Thor's bearhug, the other two were blabbering about their admiration for Bruce's studies.

It was a really cute scene and would've been fine if Bucky hadn't come in at that moment. The ex-soldier didn't even notice them at first, making it to the fridge before stopping and staring.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Bucky, Bucky, Bucky!" Peter bounced excitedly, "So these are two of the OG Avengers, Thor, who's a lightning-powered alien, and Dr. Banner, who's the Hulk! Oh, and Loki is Thor's brother who's a mage."

Bucky stared for a moment then shook his head. He grabbed a plum and left the room, muttering on the way out, "Friggin got stuck in ice for years... defrosted and now there are aliens and rage monsters... wish the weirdest thing I've ever seen was big Steve..."

Once he was gone, Loki looked at Peter with confusion, "Who was that?"

"Steve's old friend from the war. He was thought dead but was caught by Hydra and tortured for sixty years and forced to be their assassin. But now we freed him from mind control so everything is good! Only one airport was harmed in the making of his redemption arc."

"And who is Steve?"

"Captain Rogers."

"Oh," Loki murmured. Then his eyes widened, "Wait--"

There was a loud bang as someone ran into the doorframe. Seventy years and he still didn't have total control over his speed. Steve stumbled into the room.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Language," Bruce mumbled instinctively.

"Oh, hey Cap." Tony came strutting in like the diva he was, "Surprise, I guess."

"What is this?!" Steve asked, very obviously in denial.

"Well, you see..."

Thor began his long explanation of the last week's events, somehow leaving out the major fact that Loki was alive and standing right next to him.

"Oh and Loki's alive."

Spoke too soon. Thor patted his little brother on the head.

"Frickin' aliens..." Bucky mumbled from behind Steve.

Sam was with them, "I told you! Aliens, androids, and wizards!"

"There are no fucking wizards."

"What about that guy?" Sam pointed at Loki.

"I'm a mage, dumbass. If you want a wizard, go find Strange."

"What's strange?" Peter looked confused.

"No, Strange is a person."

"Is that his made-up name?"

"No. Why would you need a fake name?"

"To keep our identities secret. Or just cool titles."

"Which one of you have secret identities? You all parade around with your real names."

"I keep my identity a secret."

"That's different. You're a kid."

"So are you!"

"I've lived a hundred of your lifetimes. I'm no child."

"Shut up, both of you!" Shuri groaned, "Don't make me taser you!"

"Shit," Steve put a hand on his face, "This is all too much. First Nat's family, now this. I want a block of ice."

~~~

It took about twenty minutes to calm down Steve. Tony somehow seemed extremely relaxed with Loki being in the compound. Sam didn't understand until they told him, then he panicked for a moment before coming to his senses. Bucky accepted it right away, though he seemed to know more than he let on.

Now that everything cooled down, they had to face some major problems.

"What are we going to tell the Clan of Assassins?"

Said clan consisted of Clint, Natasha, Hill, Fury, and the last of SHIELD. They also had to deal with the government-- mostly dickhead Ross-- wanting to 'serve justice'.

Team Cap straight away said that they would fight any government officials who wanted to misuse the Asgardians and the resident rage monster.

Tony had some urge to tell them but understood the consequences. He just considered what would he do if it were Peter, Pepper, Rhodey, or any of his loved ones. He was getting married soon and he didn't want to deal with those assholes!

They ended up agreeing to avoid the government and let SHIELD find out on their own if they wanted to.

Did it really matter?

~~~

"You realize that you have to go to school, right?"

Tony walked into the living space about a week after the Statesman had landed. He held a tablet and a truckload of papers he was trying to use to make Loki a human identity. Said mage fell off his perch on the back of the couch.

"WHAT?!"

"Well, you see, your blood test came back saying your biological age was sixteen," Tony explained, "Obviously, I did some extremely deep test that proved your actual ancient age but normal humans don't do those tests."

"So?"

"So you're technically a minor. Of course, I'm sure you'll start aging quicker now that your Asgardian energy source is gone but I still need some education on your legal documents. You need to graduate high school to be qualified for almost any good job. I would get questioned if I hired a seemingly stupid person."

"Hey!" Loki made an offended face.

"He's not wrong though," Peter said from his spot sitting on the roof, "But maybe you can go to my school! Shuri's going too!"

Loki made a face, "But that means socializing."

"Mood," Shuri said from the counter.

"Look, kid. I can try to forge graduation papers too but I'm already pushing my connections very far. I've put it down that your family lived off-grid for a long time, so they can just let you take a test and enter in your correct age group."

Loki pressed his hands together, "Is this my only option."

"Either public school or homeschool. I can get Thor to teach you and--"

"PUBLIC SCHOOL IT IS!"

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Heyyy my boiz! This is a pretty sucky filler chapter and I have absolutely no idea what to write until school starts for them since it's like summer so I need like sort of a complication of one-shots, maybe about five chapters worth, then I can continue with the actual storyline! I'm open to suggestions because my brain is stupid.

TTYL!