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A story about a girl that finally finds the will to live after years of being tormented by her ruthless past, just to have it reach to her once more, coming back with the same intensity of cruelty and terror and once again erasing her just bui...
° ° ° . . . I can't get any closer, can't deepen my love for you. . .
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CHAPTER 46 —————
"Shh... you're safe, love... you're okay..."
I couldn't see anything. I didn't try to see either. My face was buried in his chest once again while I let myself cry it out.
It took time, but the voices stopped. Now I was just shaking and shivering in his arms with my heart beating with rapid pace while I was trying to calm down and not overthink how to hide everything from them and get out, at least for a short while.
Unlike everyone else in this mansion, Jaemin was just there for me. Not saying a single thing about it, no questions, no pushing. He was just there. Holding me tight in his embrace, running his fingers through my coal black hair gently and softly whispering exactly what I needed to hear. Comforting me that everything was going to be just fine, even though he had no idea what I was going through and what was 'that', that needed to be fixed.
I sniffed one last time, brushed my shaking hand across my cheeks to erase the last of the tears I cried and I snuggled up closer to Jaemin. His warm hand brushed my back, comforting me, and I felt him leaning closer until he kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter, fluttering my heart with his actions like he always did.
I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before I babbled weakly. "Why...?" My voice came out quiet and brittle, I could barely hear my own self let alone be heard by him.
But Jaemin seemed to have caught the word as he hummed questioningly. "Why what?"
"Why aren't you asking any questions?" I muttered before I raised my head up from his chest and sat up facing him with my curious still glistening puffy eyes. I didn't need a mirror to tell me how reddened and bloody my eyes were or how much greener and clearer my orbs appeared after I had cried, but I didn't bother to hide any of it.
Jaemin pulled his body up as well, until his back leaned on the board of my bed. He released a long sigh, staring back at me with barely smiling lips. He cupped my cheek with his right hand. His thumb brushed my cheek, erasing another tear I didn't notice had escaped my stinging eyes.
"I realised you didn't wanna talk about it. You didn't tell them, why would you tell me..." He paused for a second before continuing his sentence quieter. "I don't wanna push you, love." He shook his head slowly, his lips forming a weak smile while his thumb gently brished the tears off my cheek. "You can tell me when you're ready..."
I gulped the lump of guilt I had stuck in my throat while my eyes stared down at my hand squeezing and tormenting the silky sheets in nervousness. He deserved to know... the most of them all. I left him after spending merely one day in our official relationship. Without saying goodbye, without saying why, with not even a single word spoken I just disappeared from his life - from everyone's lives, for a whole month.
