Floating (2nd book)

1. Birthday bash

I let the water soak into my skin as I relax my body.

This is the only way I can be close to him again.

The water soaks into my hair. I push my head under the water.

Asher Dorian.

I have never missed something so much in my entire life.

I usually find a way to numb the pain, but today I can't.

I've been dreading this day for an entire year.

Today is my birthday.

Today I am 18.

Today, one year ago, I officially met Asher Dorian.

My heart hurts and my body burns as I think about him.

Anoplia said she would plan something special for my birthday to get my mind off things.

My parents aren't here. Anoplia, (who still uses Gretta Millar as a disguise), asked my mother if she could go away for a day so she could throw a birthday party for me.

This is going to sound crazy, but Anoplia has been a very good friend since Asher's death.

One time I was with her, I just started talking about him. She stood there and listened to me.

I talked for about an hour, but she still listened.

Ever since his death, I've become more attached to algebra.

I love algebra because it repeats itself.

I love concentrating on the numbers rolling off the pages and into my brain. I love just focusing on numbers until all I can see and think about are numbers.
All I can see and hear are numbers.

But then, suddenly I'll start thinking about him because he can't really escape my thoughts.

Sometimes I hear him, talking to me.

Is that weird?

Do you understand?

Whenever I talk to myself, a voice will respond. But it isn't mine. It's his.

I hear him all the time.

I used to want to feel the pain, until it became unbearable.

Until I didn't even want to be myself anymore.

So I changed.

I died my hair darker. I started wearing makeup. I even got a nose piercing.

I bring my head up for air and lay back by the tub.

I let him overtake me.

His memory.

His voice.

His touch.

His warmth.

Everything I love about him.

I relax into Asher and let the pain overtake me.

Suddenly, I hear the thumping of a bass.

What is that?

I hear giggling and screaming.

I push my body out of my bath and dry off into clothes.

I take out my bun that was preventing me from getting my freshly died hair wet.

I rush down my stairs.

The bass gets louder as I turn around to see tons of people from my school in my house.