Hate & Love

Ten.

I wake up with both of my boys on my shoulders again. I look out the window and I swear were going over Oklahoma.

I jump up startling both boys.

"Jack!," I look to my left "Jack!," I looks to my right then out the window "why are we in Oklahoma!" I say getting excited.

"Damn you Johnson you were supposed to make sure she didn't know until we landed!" Gilinksy says smacking Johnson's shoulder.

"Bro I'm tired and the time zones are so fucked up man." Johnson yawns.

"What's going on?" I say happily to be home.

"We came to Oklahoma to let you be home for a few hours then were going to road trip it to Nebraska." Gilinsky says kissing my temple.

Omg. Woah.

"Home? I love the sound of that." I smile leaning my head onto Gilinsky's shoulder as Johnson slides his on mine.

We still have about 20 minutes until we reach Oklahoma City, Oklahoma so I'll just sleep.

-

It felt like I just shut my eyes and I was here.

I guess the boys arranged to have a rental car

But...I have to drive all the way to Pawnee.

It takes about two hours to get there from here so...yay!...

"Auto you look scared as fuck." Johnson yells after we landed.

I was squeezed tight to both Jacks cause I felt like I was falling to my death, as the boys just laughed at me very hard.

"I felt like I was about to die." I express.

"Such a baby." Gilinsky laughs.

"Jack & Jack?" I hear a small voice.

We all turn while we pick up our luggage.

"Yeah?" The say simultaneously

A little girl asks for a picture and of course they do it

"Were going to have to visits a lot of people." I sigh.

But I'm cutoff by screams.

No no no no no. No.

All I hear are the Jacks names and mine a few times before were engulfed in a huge crowd.

I see flashing, a lot of girls, and security trying to grab Jack & Jack they must think I'm a fan...

"Auto?" I hear the familiar guy voices.

"Jacks" I holler while trying to get out of some of the fans grips.

"There she is. Go grab her man, she's with us." I hear Johnson yell at the security.

I feel a few girls being pulled off of me but I'm still crowded.

"Ladies let go of her." I hear a few guards yell.

"Girls please let her go." I hear Gilinsky holler.

The boys are being held back by our body guards.

"You don't deserve either of the Jacks you slut." I feel like I'm being mauled

"Hey! Don't say that!" I hear Johnson say.

"What the fuck!" I hear Gilinsky say.

"Get away from her!" Johnson continues on.

I hate having anxiety cause shit like this makes me have panic attacks and I can feel one coming on. Panic attacks are like heart attacks, you feel trapped and you can't breathe and it just hurts like shit. Both Jacks know that I have anxiety which is why they're screaming and they're really protective. Anxiety just sucks ya know?

I start breathing hard as I'm being pulled every which way and scratched and hollered at. It's a lot. I can feel my chest getting tighter and my knuckles clenching from me trying to fight it back a little longer.

Breath in breath out. My breaths get faster and faster and faster. My chest tightens and my eyes water. Breathe in breathe out. Breathe in breathe out. It doesn't help and I start hyperventilating. I'm so dizzy I am probably about to pass out..breathe in breathe out. All the screams of probably a hundred girls now get distant and I can't even hear Jack or Jack.

I decide to say something.

"Get off of me." I scream pushing the girls off of me stumbling and tears falling.

I try my best to push through as the security guards try to tame the fans and grab me out of their grips.

"Get off!" I scream as they pull harder and my eye sight gets a little more blurry.

"Autumn grab my hand." Johnson.

He broke through our guards.

I grab his hand as the guards surround us so the fans can calm down.

"She doesn't deserve you!" I hear a girl holler and a lot more agree.

"She's done nothing to any of you!" Gilinsky hollers.

He's furious.

We're rushed off into an emergency exit. I look at my arms and see that I'm actually bleeding and I'm all red. Surely about to pass out as my breathing is still heavy.

"Autumn babe calm down breathe." Gilinsky says trying to soothe me.

I can't talk.

"Auto, it's okay." Johnson says rubbing my hair while I'm curled up in a corner trying to calm down.

"She's having a panic attack." A body guard says.

My eye get heavy and they go black.

All I hear is Gilinsky screaming for help and Johnson helping.

Welcome home.

✖️
I'm so emo cause of Zayn. I just, I don't know he was a big part of my life and now I just want to slay Naughtyboy and run him over. Ya feel?