It Starts With a Question

Those Who Wait

Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way.

-Fulton J. Sheen

Sometimes people tend to not treasure their memories and the time spend with those closest to them. In the end, they up regretting it in the end. Touka could understand now why... It's wasn't that she appreciated her memories, instead she had treasured them too much, which ended up in her having more regrets.

She should have spent more time with him, she should have been more accepting, no matter how difficult it had been for her to even establish any kind of relation with another person, let alone a half-ghoul, who has been human until recently...

It had been like two or three days since Kaneki was taken away by Aogiri. Yoshimura said he would gather everyone, but she hasn't heard anything since then. She had taken a break from school, since she was in no condition to go. The first day she just laid on her bed like a lifeless doll, allowing tears to fall down her face and frustration loose, the second day she started to cry as she had trouble sleeping and now she just laid there, stuck with the empty feeling she came to know too well over the years...

Taunts of her brother would haunt her dreams, telling her how weak and stupid she is, how she should just give up and accept the fact that she's a man eating monster. Or whenever she was nearing unconsciousness, she could hear whispers and words of reassurance from the boy remained in her mind. It was driving her nuts.

Whenever she imagined that kindness of his, his smile, the warmth of his body, his smell, the short moments where they touched, be it a slight brush from their shoulders or their hands, his breath, even engraved since the day she went to his house. It made her want to bang her head against the wall. So close and still so far away, if only the nausea wouldn't have kicked in, dammit! They would have, they could have...

What would have happened?

Would they have confessed their feelings for each other? After months Touka finally had realized her feelings for the eye-patched half-ghoul. But what about the boy in question? Was he already aware? Would they really have made the step? They could easily return to the awkwardness that had been lurking between them for weeks. Or would they start a relationship? She really had no idea, nor wasn't she sure how to react...

Touka lifted herself from her bed and glanced at her clock; 16.38 and it was already dark. She sighed of course, what else would she expect in the middle of December...

Another sigh escaped her breath... Christmas Eve was nearing and she had hoped to spend it with Kaneki... And his birthday too, which would have been in a few days... The girl sighed again. Kaneki had told her his birthday after another 'tutor' session. He had asked her birthday first, as the book they were going through contained lots of mentioning about birthstones. Too bad they never got as far as Touka wanted, since both became so conscious of each other, maybe if only she noticed sooner.

"Stupid idiot... why wasn't I strong enough to protect him? Why do I have to wait?"

She sighed again. Maybe they could save him in time... Before something bad happens to him and then, they could celebrate his birthday together... She glanced at her closet, one of the doors was slightly open, so you could peek inside to the a wrapped present lying in the corner.

The present she had bought for Kaneki.

She wasn't sure he would like it, since she wasn't sure what genre he did and did not like, but at least she believed that he would enjoy it.

A smile crawled on her face as she imagined the expression the half-ghoul would have when she gives him his birthday present.

She decided to lay down and closed her eyes.