(✓) iv.| 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐋𝐄, 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝.

²⁴ gold chain, black heart

—

MILES HAD THE EMOTIONS OF NO OTHER, he felt extremely intense emotions that took control over his entire body, his mind, and the entirety of what made him, well, him.

he had been like that his entire life.

there was always something that was wrong with him that didn't fully reach the surface, some things went in way over peoples heads.

ke kept a lot in.

he used his ego to present himself, with age he became better with coming off as confident, which he is, in a way, but his coping is like no other.

he copes with trauma by presenting himself as unbreakable, he was always an asshole to people before they could be an asshole to him, he masks his trauma to pretend like it didn't happen.

his emotions and his thoughts were distached, his thoughts running rapid while his emotions slammed his physical and emotional state, he had impulse problems.

when miles was seventeen, his emotions spiraled out of control. the sudden death of his parents along with the people that he surrounded himself by. he didn't know what to do, he had to rely on someone.

or something.

like substances, anything he could get his hands on.

he used to numb himself,

or be in the reality that he pretended he was in.

—

seventeen year old miles looked up at his ceiling, laying on his best with a cigarette between his lips as he inhaled the smoke into his lungs. he regularly smoked in the house.

he just didn't care anymore.

he pulled the cigarette away from his lips with his fingers, blowing the smoke out before sitting up and looking down at his forearm.

he thoughts always wandered, he was an angry person, a very angry person. his impulse and emotional attacks were beginning to slowly spiral out of control with each second that ticked on the clock.

he hated everything, he hated what he was doing, he hated how he felt, he hated how his life was.

he hated himself.

he stared down at his forearm for a bit longer, grabbing the cigarette before putting the lit end against his arm, he let out a a wince in pain, staring down at his arm.

he left a burn.

then he did it again.

he was angry, he was really angry.

he wanted pain, even if it was for himself to feel.

he went to do it again, but just as he went to, his bedroom door swung open, causing him to jump back as he stared up at the doorframe, revealing a very angry ms. jessel, she stared at him with a look of anger before shouting.

"what did i tell you about smoking in the house?!" she shouted at him as she gestured to the lit cigarette between his fingers with her arm.

he didn't even care that he just got caught smoking, miles was more worried about the fact that she could have saw that, and he didn't know if she did.

he didn't want to get sent away to a psych ward, where he would be marked as clinically insane for self harm, it wouldn't help him at all—-if anything he would just go away, he didn't understand how doctors thought locking away mentally ill people would help.