Love or blood| stiles x reader|

Chapter 10

*self harm* hi this chapter includes self harm and talk of self harm,if you or anyone you know needs help please reach out,I'm just writing from my personal struggle with self harm so if this triggers you please read something else,thank you.

You slightly wake up to a kick on the back of the knee you groan in response and shift your body a bit you hear a groan in response your confused you drag your hand up the person and to their face and feel around it,you roll your eyes and roll over "malia what are you doing" you say sitting up and grabbing your head "aspirin and water in the bedside table" she says in a sleepy voice "Ye thanks" you say you reach over and take the pill and chug the class of water "god" you say flopping back on the bed "but what are you really doing here" you say looking at her "mm I crashed here after the party you were wasted" she says with her eyes still closed you hum in response "what did I do" you say joking "you don't wanna know" malia saus not realising you were joking "what" you say confused she opens her eyes "no nothing you did nothing lest go back to sleep it's Sunday" she says flipping over so she's not facing you,you roll your eyes and flip her over to reface you "what did it do malia" you ask sternly malia rolls her eyes and sits up "ok well you started off good the you got drunk and ended up with stiles who was also drunk" she says "oh no then what" you ask dredging the response "welll you guys danced for bit then well made out for a LONG time then danced more" she says your eyes wide you grab a pillow and cover your face with it "and you guys kinda had a conversation" you look up at her "you said "I really like to party" then he said "I really like your body" then you said "I really wanna get naughty" luckily I stopped you but Ye" she said rubbing your back tears start to form in your eyes,you storm into the bathroom attached to your room you lean your hands on the sink panting you get angry and push over the glass holding your toothbrush's it's hits the floor and shatters "hay you ok in there" malia yells "Ye Ye fine" you say picking up the pieces you grab 1 and look at it for a while you grab it and sit on the edge of the bath you sigh and run it deeply into your wrist covering old scars you already had you wince quitely and make your way down your arm occasionally drawing blood you stop after a while "hay can you pass me a sweatshirt and jeans I'm gonna shower" you yell out "Ye sure 1 sec" Malia says she puts her arm into the door handing you the things you need you make sure to use the non bloody arm and grab it,you run over to the shower and turn the water on to pretend your having a shower you pick the rest of the class up and shove it in the bin before wiping the blood off with toilet paper you arms whimpering a bit you chuck the paper out the bathroom window and undress yourself to put the sweatshirt on so no one would see,you wait a couple of minutes before turning the water off and stepping out "feel better" malia asks sitting on the bed on her phone "much" you say smiling "hay um stiles has texted and called you a couple times" she says handing you the phone you sigh and put your head back "what am I gonna do" you ask sitting next to malia "I don't know but you can't control who you like" she says "well I don't even know if I like him i don't know what I'm feeling" you say starting to cry she looks at you sadly and pulls you into the side of her and sides her hand down your hair "hay hay it's ok,if you want my advice you should meet with him and clear the air and just see what happens it's better to do it sooner than later" she says "Ye I know your right I just I'm scared I mean what about Lydia and what if he doesn't feel the same I mean I just got back" you say "I don't know about Lydia but what I do mow is that stiles likes you and he Always has even when you were gone he would ask Lydia about you all the time infact he never shut up about you" she says you chuckle "so it's up to you but I think you know what to do y/n" she says you look up at her and pull her into a real hug "thank you Malia somehow you are smarter then me sometimes" you say as you both laugh you pull out the hug "do you mind if I call him and see him today" you ask "you can stay here if you want and wait till I get back" "no no it's fine go ahead I'll head home but you have to keep me posted" she says you nod she smiles "good luck" she says as you both hop off the bed you put your foreheads together "thank you" you say as you both smile she walks out and winks at you,you wait for her to leave the room before shutting the door you bite your nails as you go to call him you hesitate as you press his contact you put the phone up to your he answers almost Immediately "hay hi y/n hi" he says nervously "hay stiles um how are you" you ask trying to fix the awkwardness "Um got a bit of a headache but not to bad,you" he says you look down at your arm "um Ye same but I'm fine,I was wondering if I could come over so we could talk or something" you ask "Yes! I mean ye that's fine" he says you slightly chuckle "ok cool I'll be over in 15 I'm gonna walk" you say "ok cool see you soon" he says you hang up the phone and head outside and start to walk.
Stiles pov:
He waits for you to hang up the phone "oh my god dude she coming over" he says looking at Scott laying on the floor he sits up quickly "wait wait who the fuck are you taking about" he asks stretching "y/n she's coming over now she wants to talk" he says pacing the room "woah dude calm down it's fine I mean you like her don't you" he asks stiles "yes of course I do I always have but I mean she JUST got back what if it's all to fast for her" stiles says "dude it's ok I have a gut feeling she likes you" Scott says getting up and putting his shirt back on "but what about Lydia she likes me and they are sisters what if she doesn't wanna be with me cause of that what if she's coming her to reject me" he says flopping on the bed "it will be fine dude just listen to her,and hear what she has to say" he says "Ye Ye your right thanks bud" he says "yep" Scott says as he makes his way to his door he winks at stiles Before shutting his door stiles sighs deeply looking at the ceiling.
you whet to the front of stiles house you give your self a little pep talk before walking up the path leading to the front door you knock,the door opens and you look up "oh y/n great to see you" you look up shocked "oh hay Noah it's good to see you up and walking" you hay giving him a slight hug "yes it good I didn't see you come back to the hospital" he says "oh Ye I got swamped with school sorry" you say "aww that's ok come on in" he says and smiles at you you smiles back "um just go up to stiles room he should be in their" Noah says "thank you it's good to see you" you say back as you walk up the stairs you stop outside of his door that it closed you sigh and shake your head,you knock on the door you wait on moment and stiles opens the Door "hi" you say quietly and nervously "hi,um how did you get in" he ask leaning against the door frame trying to look cool "your dad let me" you say looking at the floor "ok well do you wanna come in" you nod and walk past him into the room he closes the door behind you,you sit on his bed playing with you hair nervously every sits next to you "um thanks for letting me come over" you say "Ye Ye I'm glad you wanna talk" he says "ok um can you just listen to me before you say anything" you ask as he nods you sigh "ok stiles yesterday at the party we kissed well made out and I'm not gonna say I didn't mean it and didn't like it,I I guess I have feelings for you but I also just got back after 10 years and it's just a lot and i don't know and even if I did like you I-we can't be together cause of Lydia she is head over heals for you and I can't hurt her I'm sorry stiles" you say tears falling into your cheek he doesn't say anything "I'm gonna go" you say getting up from the bed and walking,he grabs your wrist you whince "wow are you ok" he says worried you grab your wrist "Ye Ye I'm fine" you say he go to roll up your sleeve you fight him off but he beats you and see the fresh red cuts all up your arm you look away from him as he looks up your arm "y/n why would you do this to yourself" he says gently running his hand down your arm he grabs your chin and moves your head to look at him "y/n why" he asks "I'm confused and I-I I've done it for a while and I don't know" you say crying he puts his forehead against yours "y/n please don't do this to your self and I really do like you like a lot but I get that we can't because of Lydia but even so I love you as a friend and i know I was mean to you but it's so I don't kiss you instead" he says you smile your foreheads still together "I'll fix things I just wanna be with you i do your all I want" you say before pulling him into a kiss he immediately kisses you back it's loving and gentle but also lustful and rough you pull away to catch your breath you both chuckle and smile "do you wanna stay over tonight" he asks you chuckle and nod your head he picks you up and carries over his shoulder to the bed you laugh a bit he flops you both onto the bed and you laugh more "there's that smiles" he says rubbing his hand over your cheek you blush you get under the covers and he follows you,you face him "thank you stiles I really do like you" you say running your hand though his hair "and I really like you" he says kissing you one last time you smiles and flip the other way he smiles and pulls him closer to you to spoon you but before you sleep he grads your arm and rolls up your sleeve and kisses down your cut arms "I'll always be here for you always y/n" he says "thank you stiles" you say before slowing falling asleep in his arms you both feel safe and warm and loved you both drift off.