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𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝟒: 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 . 𝐈 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✦: No warnings. Do comment on a section which triggers you. Just spoilers for Episode 32, Cannibalism. Notes at the bottom.
𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐕:
'Sorrys' don't accomplish much, do they? One of the most challenging things of dealing with uncontrollable pain is the stigma associated with it. People may judge you if you suffer from the pain. They may occasionally pass judgment on you for how you are dealing with it. They believe you are oversleeping or lounging because of it. They grow annoyed if they notice you sobbing and assume you cry too much. If you don't work due to pain, you'll be questioned about it. This judgment of how you are managing your pain may often lead to disbelief that you are in as much anguish as you claim. They could believe you're making a big deal out of nothing.
Why do you cry all the time? Is it because of the people in your life? Or the roles they play? How idiotic of you to assume that it is all their faults; the reason you believe so is due to your mindset. Because you weren't treated the same as someone you cared about, you were trained to accomplish things on your own. At this point, this may seem as if you wanted the spotlight on you and is being dramatic. No one could blame them, but you weren't so sure how to answer it. What did you feel, how did you manage? No comment.
You were dueling Higuchi in the conference hall. She asked whether you could assist her in improving. Though you had to pity her and let her land a hit, and having watched her pleased about something so imaginary wasn't entertaining. It was simply heartbreaking; why did you even let her win when all you did was degrade yourself for the female? You should cease viewing others as your sister, but you know you can't, so why continually remind yourself when you, yourself never listen?
Higuchi, Ichiyō Higuchi is a mafioso. The female is merciless and fearsome, not afraid to murder her targets. When approached by the adversary, she adopts a distant demeanor, frequently being strictly no-nonsense and exhibiting no pity for them. She is quick to act, seldom tolerates disrespect, and despises anyone who underestimates Port Mafia. Underneath her strong demeanor, she is often angered, cautious, and prone to self-doubt. She even considered leaving multiple times, despite the obvious disadvantages of defection. As a result, her subordinates seldom respect her, with many obeying her commands out of dread of Akutagawa's fury. She also has an uncontrolled spirit, which causes her to take harsh steps and, as a result, defy orders.
You merely despise Akutagawa for blaming the young girl for his own wrongdoings at some point. She was simply doing her job, yet he reacted as if it were the end of the world. She often insists on filling in for Akutagawa, worried about his poor health. Unfortunately, her loyalty is met with a frustrated Akutagawa's abusive and harsh treatment, often being called "unnecessary" to him. Nonetheless, Higuchi remains loyal to him. You don't mind him, but you'll never forget what he did to the female. Higuchi and you are on distinct layers, yet you don't mind being near her. Even though you hardly spoke, it did not worry you not and the same goes for the blonde. She keeps on telling you about her day, and you listen. Unlike the others, you're the only one she trusts other from her superior, but you doubt he'll listen. "Akutagawa this" and "Akutagawa that" are the only phrases. You were becoming exhausted of the terms, but you remained silent. He was a horrible influence on her and is now endangering her health by dumping hazardous waste into Higuchi. Though you can't blame the male for what he has done, after all, he was in the same situation as she was, but his commander was Dazai, Osamu Dazai. And so the cycle continues. How amusing.
