Aches (Tokyo revengers)

Bliss

"Stay for me... please...", Mikey's voice broke, voice already hoarse from the tears that streamed down his face once again. He was sure he had no tears left to cry, all of them used up so much yet here was life proving him wrong as he looked at her body in the casket. 

The atmosphere was solemn, yet the weather was blissful, perhaps honouring the beautiful soul after it had already wept for it. 

The orange hues mixed with blue in the sky as the sun was setting around the corner when the funeral ceremony started. A lot of people were there, most of them of who had left her on her own when she was reluctant to leave Mikey's side. 

People truly are a mystery, they care for someone then they leave them, finally upon the death of the person they speak as if they knew them forever. 

At funerals, I wonder, how many people are there who actually cared and won't forget the person even after their death. Sometimes those people who cared are the one's we least expect and whom we expected to care for us forget us faster than a hurricane, only our souls get left behind watching them forget us little by little each second, smiling painfully and still being happy that at least they are happy, it doesn't matter if it's without us.

Mikey sat beside other toman members, his face not giving away the heartache he felt or the lathargicness he felt from not sleeping since her dying face surfaced his dreams on repeat. Each dream turned more horrifying where in the end she died from different scenarios, leaving him every time.

With the clicks of the clock, it dawned upon all of them slowly yet painfully, one of their own had departed this world perhaps finally meeting some of the friends or family they had lost before like their black haired friend. 

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Frost finally watching the ceremony end, patted the heads of each of the people she cared for there. Them feeling the warmth on their heads somehow felt more sadness. Finally knowing they will all be okay, she looked back towards a familiar friend who had come to take her away from the land of the living. So on she went with away finally leaving them, as she followed the black-haired boy's soul who smiled at her warmly through his canine teeth.

She would watch over them after all it's all she can do now, even if they forget her. 

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And forget they did, not all of them though. Though, with passing time there was acceptance rather than grief about what had happened. 

Mikey was in the bonten gang base, preparing for his meetup with takemichi when he came upon the stuff of the girl who he loved dearly. After her death, he never could bring himself to look through her stuff, the pain in his chest almost too prominent.

Figuring he might not come back, he decided to finally look through it. It was filled with some pictures of her with their friends and other stuff she loved including her favourite books. An envelope seemed to catch his eyes, with curious eyes he opened it only to find a letter. Seeing her handwriting again was overwhelming As he started reading he could even hear her and imagine her smiling while writing this, for she loved writing whenever sad.

Dear person reading this,

Perhaps It's the future me that's reading this but I am quite doubtful of that. So the next person I could think of who would read this is Mikey. It's you, isn't it ?  Isn't it weird I could see you reading this and call it a gut instinct or perhaps my self-desire but I know I probably am not there with you? I just hope if I left you it was not intentional, cause I couldn't bear being alive away from you.

This letter that I'm writing, I'm writing in case I don't get to tell you myself since you have started avoiding me. Mikey, you have been ignoring me and instead of getting mad at you all I could do is be sad for myself yet I understand why you are doing it. Being a sensitive person, I sometimes hate that I can feel what others are feeling even though they might be going through a whole new situation. But being with you I was glad I'm sensitive, for I could take care of you and you made me fall in love with myself.

A tear fell on the letter as his hands trembled, he could feel something rise up in his throat as he attempted to push back his emotions since he needed to finish this letter. He couldn't help but desire her embrace at this moment like the one's she used to give him, those warm hugs, whenever he was sad.

If we had five more minutes...I would tell you how much you deserve the whole world and how much I wish I could give it to you. But I feel I won't be there, I, sorry about that, I just feel so tired of everything sometimes, in those times you are the only one keeping me alive for I don't know what I'd do without you. 

His breath hitched.

In case I failed to tell you in my last moments, it's not your fault Mikey. It never was and never will be. I am content with where I am and we will get to meet when you come here which I hope isn't soon. So live for me okay? I will forever watch over you. Let me tell you what I wanted to say all along, I love you Manjiro Sano, and I forever will even when I'm not with you. I am crying by now so I'll stop writing more.

With utmost love, 

A dumbass<3.

He didn't know she felt the same, now it was too late to give his reply. He finally broke down after ages, but it was okay, after all, she was watching over him. He couldn't live a happy life for her though, he was gonna meet her tomorrow after meeting Michi most probably anyways.

He spent the whole night just laying on the floor rereading the letter or looking through the pictures as his fingers traced upon her smile in one of them.

____

Some people are too kind for this world, when they leave your heart is left with emptiness. But they are forever there watching over you. 

I feel like we shouldn't fear death, rather we should fear that at our last moments we have nothing to smile about, wouldn't that be a true shame?

Some people spend their whole life chasing happiness, but happiness is something that's not continuous, no matter how successful you get. You'll only get happiness from small moments every day if you truly work for it rather than chasing it. 

It doesn't matter if everyone hates you, the universe doesn't so smile and look at the sky, I'm looking at the same sky and I love you as well. 

We believe we have to fulfil some duty in this life so we stress ourselves trying to achieve something hard, truly though perhaps what we were meant to do is already fulfilled, perhaps the only thing in life that was required out of us was to enjoy it or just make someone smile once, then just live it out.

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Hi guys! This was the last chapter and honestly, a cried a Lil while writing this as well lol. 

I hope you truly enjoyed this book and I hope you are having a good day/night if not here's a reminder you are loved and cared for. Smile :D!

This author's note is a Lil long lol, if anyone has any questions for me regarding the story or anything else, I might answer them. I will most probably work on my chifuyu book now that this one is done.

I'm thinking of writing another but I'll think about which character or anime. Till then stay healthy and safe, go drink water. Love you!

<3<3<3<3