Epiphany

12 ~ Beautiful Distractions

"I should go." Lily had said before slipping away, out of his reach. It was what James had been thinking whilst the spoke; he had a reputation to maintain, and what's more he promised Snivellous he'd stay away.

I should go, but he hadn't. They'd joked and laughed and it had been fine until she looked up at him with those eyes - those indescribable eyes. His stomach turned, his visions blurred leaving only her.

"I should go."

He should've stopped her, said something, but it was easier to let her leave. The dizziness stopped and he could almost forget it happened, the way she looked at him.

Intimate: he had never understood the word before, but 'close' and 'private' didn't quite cover it. He told himself it was the drinks, only they weren't alcoholic and he'd barely had a sip.

I should go.

"You okay mate?" Sirius asked, appearing from nowhere. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Has Nick showed up yet?" And with that he was gone again, leaving James with the unanswered question.

Was he okay? He felt as if he'd aged ten years; his heart raced, beating like a drum. 'Okay' didn't seem to fit. Confused, overwhelmed, terrified, maybe, but not okay.

He spotted a flash of orange hair - not orange, more bronze - before he realised who he'd been looking for. Lily disappeared into the girls dorm. Lily: he'd never noticed how pretty the name was.

It was an age until he came back to reality. James, for he had only just remembered his name, stood lost and alone in the middle of the common room, surrounded by music and laughter. And love. It seemed all to prominent in the room, as if he now knew what to look for. Marlene and her girlfriend made out on the sofa; a nervous Frank Longbottom approached Alice Forescue; and Sirius... sat on Remus' lap.

The distraction was easy, welcomed even, so of course James took it.

Sirius and Remus had been getting closer over the past few months, but he had assumed it was in a brotherly way - like Sirius and himself. If two brothers looked at each other the way Padfoot and Moony did, well, you would have some concerns.

Maybe he had been absorbed in his own feelings, but James was certain there had been no obvious signs of this. Not that he had any issues with it, mind you, he had long known that Sirius took no interest in girls and that Remus fancied them all. It was new, however, that they fancied each other.

James was utterly fine with most terms of the relationship but, if this was just a short lived thing, it could ruin the Marauders. With Peter drifting off, they were already in danger of a split, but being forced to choose between Padfoot and Moony -

- That was something James could not live with.

Now he needed a distraction from his distraction. He picked Mary MacDonald. The girl stood alone, much like James, and was ignored by the rest of the party. It was the kind thing to do, he told himself, screw ulterior motives.

"Mary, right?" He greeted the girl, the poor thing nearly jumped out of her skin. "Woah, it's okay, only me!"

She was mostly hidden by her mousey hair, but James thought he saw a smile.

"What's James Potter doing on the Outskirts then?" She asked, a singsong quality to her quiet voice.

"The Outskirts?" He asked, dodging the question.

"The edge of the party," Mary explained, "where the forgotten people are left unnoticed."

"But I noticed you." James said, only noticing how it sounded once it couldn't be taken back.

Mary looked up at him thoughtfully, brushing her short hair from her grey-blue eyes. "You did." She said with a shy smile.

With her face in sight, James thought she looked pretty, in a shy, delicate way. She was soft and gentle where Lily was sharp and bold. After an hour of continued conversation, it was clear that she was easy to talk to and bore him no ill-will, unlike Lily. The two weren't particularly close anyway, James learned.

When the clock struck 12, like in a fairytale though certainly less romantic, Strix broke up the party and ordered the Gryffindors to head up to bed. Clasping her hand ever so gently, for fear he might break it, Mary let James lead her towards the steps to the girls dorms.

Leaning in close to his ear, which required him to crouch down as she was significantly shorter than him, Mary whispered, "Come with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow, I'll tell you where in the morning."

"Sounds like a date," James murmured back, Evans was the last thing on his mind.

Mary smiled and pecked a kiss on his cheek, before giggling and running up the stairs. James laughed to himself as he made his way to bed.