Venny's Assistant

9

I woke up alone. No Ms Venable. No note. Not any sign that I was ever even here with someone else. Where the hell could she be?

I got dressed back into last night's outfit, and made my way out to my car. Still no sign of her. I tried to call, but after one ring, it went straight through to voicemail. She hung up on me.

Had I done something wrong? Had I made her uncomfortable? What if she felt violated? Oh my God I'm so stupid.

In my mind, I ticked off every time I asked for consent and if she'd given it. I thought about how she'd asked me to continue. But what if I'd read it wrong? What if she didn't want it? What if she hated me touching her? What if last night was really traumatic for her? Oh my God- had I ruined her life?

Feeling a little faint, I sat down in the car and took a deep breath. It was only Saturday, so I had two days before work. Did I even want to go back in? Would it trigger her?

Too many questions ran in my mind, making me want to cry. So that's what I did. I cried. I cried for Ms Venable, for myself, for last night, and for the fact that I might have thrown something promising out of the window, because I'm just so damn stupid.

I drove home in silence, blinking back tears the whole way home.

"Hey guys," I smiled a little at my dogs, before running upstairs and flopping onto my bed, sobbing and shaking. I'd ruined everything again.

I looked at my phone on my pictures, to see the selfie we took together at the bar, just before we left, the cute picture of us together in bed after we confessed our feelings, and the one of us sharing our last kiss before we fell asleep. Maybe that was going to be our last kiss ever.

I spent the whole weekend curled up in my dress under my duvet, crying. And then Monday came around.