shawn's tour diary

gone for good

stella's pov

i decided to watch some tv.

my little step sister was over and she left it on disney channel.

i remember when i used to watch disney channel.

i laughed and before i changed the channel i heard a familiar tune.

followed by those lyrics..

"we don't have to be ordinary.."

"disney channel's nbt, shawn mendes"

the camera panned on shawn. he looked really happy, smiling and playing his guitar.

i remember the day they shot this, i was sitting behind the camera, trying to distract shawn from how exhausted he was.

in that moment, every memory i had with shawn, flashed before my eyes, then left my mind in a second. i didn't want to believe i had lost him. but there was no turning back.

shawn's pov

the bus was moving smoothly now. the ride was only supposed to be 24 hours, but it had been well over 30 now.

i got out of my bed and walked over to ian's bunk.

i shook him,

"ian!"

he turned over, and his eyes were red and irritated.

"what happened?" i asked confused.

"you know what it's like to find something you've been looking for, for so long, and then watch it disappear in an instant." he said sitting up, his voice was raspy.

"i think i know how that one goes buddy." i said sitting next to him.

"you and stella, are doing good with the long distance thing right?" his eyes were full of hope

"no man. you said it yourself, she's DRAMA." i said gently

"shawn no. no. you love stella. you have to work it out."

"you can't do that shawn. you can't! work it out, goddamn it shawn. i know how you feel, you can't just give up. don't give up shawn! don't you dare!" as his voice got louder, it got shakier too.

he fell in to me, and i hugged him. i felt him cry.

ian was never one to like a lot of girls. but when he did, he would fall hard, and fast.

girls were always trying to manipulate him, and take advantage of him.

when really, any girl would be lucky to have him.

i let go of him and he wiped his eyes.

"i'm sorry shawn." he said laughing under his breath

"it's all good ian. i'm here for you, always. okay." i said nodding

i got up and i couldn't help but think about all the things that ian said about me and stella. he was right. i did love her and i wanted to make it up to her. but i didn't have the time or energy to. maybe if i felt the same when i came home, i would.

x

i looked out in the crowd.

i smiled and sung my heart out.

they screamed the lyrics at the top of their lungs, holding their phones and waving them in the air.

after i finished stitches, the last song, i headed off stage.

i drank from my water bottle, all of my energy was drained out in that last song. i had written it about, you know. every time i sung it, it was like i was reliving everything.

i saw richard walk towards me. who knew how he got here again.

"i'm not going to a party." i said taking another sip.

"yeah, yeah. i know. i just wanted to say good job, that was sick." he said smiling

"thanks. so what do you want." i said setting down my guitar.

he turned around and motioned two girls, who then linked around each of his arms.

"these girls are your biggest fans, and they want the vip experience, if you know what i mean." he said winking

"nice to meet you guys." i took pictures with them both and started to pack up my stuff

"what the hell shawn." richard said after he led them out.

"i gave you what you wanted." i said patting him on the back

"you took pictures with them. those girls would have done ANYTHING you wanted them to." he said pointing in the direction they left

"i'm not some dick who takes advantage of girls." i said walking out

"what the hell did you just call me." he said pushing me

i lost my balance and fell to the floor

he laughed, and i got up. i could've done something back.

but richard wasn't worth it. the next day he'd be asking me to give him more tickets, just like he always did.

"get out of here man." i said dusting off my pants

"shut the fuck up." his fist hit my face and i felt it swell up

"you know you wouldn't dare hit me" he said laughing

"i want you to leave okay. stop following me around. stop trying to get involved. you're not allowed here anymore." i said putting a hand on my face

"whatever." he said walking out

he kicked down a mic stand as he left.

"nooo!" my manager said, he looked at my face, it was throbbing now.

he quickly returned with an ice pack and i put it on the bruise.

"you gonna be okay shawn." he said watching me ice it

"as long as that guy is gone for good" i said looking for him, something told he would never be gone for good.