circles 𖧷 gilbert blythe

16. chapter „Gilbert and I.."

The next morning, I came downstairs completely sleepy in my sleep dress, when I heard people talking.

I rubbed my eyes and looked in shook at my grandmother, who was sitting at the dinner table with Gilbert and was talking to him. „Oh Jules, good morning! It is nice that you are finally awake. Gilbert has been waiting for you the whole morning.. he even brought flowers for you", Grandma said and I ran completely red, as Gilbert looked at me and chuckled because I was still wearing my sleeping clothes. „Eh that's nice.. very nice.. I will get changed, I am back in a minute", I shouted quickly and ran upstairs again to my room. I closed my room door behind me and sank against it. Gilbert was here..why? To admit his love to me again or ask me to be his girlfriend? I don't even know if I am ready and I haven't made up my mind yet.. what should I say to him? whatever I have to go down there again and finally talk with him about.. everything, I guess.

I went to my closet and got dressed. I put on my brown pants with my black shirt and corset belt. Then I tied my brown boots and combed my hair in front of the mirror. I left my hair open and looked at myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath and left my room.. you got this, I thought to myself. I came downstairs and immediately grabbed Gilbert's hand and pulled him with me to the front door. „Wait, where are you two going this early", Grandma asked me in astonishment, while Gilbert held his bag and looked at me in surprise. I looked back and forth between Gilbert and grandmother and then said: „We are going for a walk". Then I left the house together with Gilbert and putted on my coat and scarf as I walked outside. „You will never do that again, understand? You can't just show up that early and have a cup of tea wreath with my grandmother", I said to him, angrily while walking in front of him and turning around to look at him.

He smiled and replied with: „Okay.. understood that, but I really need to talk with you, that can't wait". I stopped and looked at him. „About us?", I asked him timidly and he nodded. „Then you begin", I said grinning and clasped my arms in front of my chest. „First of all, I want to apologize again.. I know that I was an idiot and that my confession of love was unexpected and came really inappropriate, but I really meant it. I love you Jules and I can't keep it a secret from me or you anymore. I can't express my love as fittingly or beautifully as other, but I'm trying.. so I have written you a letter, bought you flowers and a ring.. a promise ring that I'm serious about all this, you know?", he said unsettled and looked me in the eye. I smiled at him as he pulled out the letter and a small box. „Unfortunately your grandmother already got her hands on the flowers, I can't give them to you anymore, but I still have these two things for you..", he said grinning and I had to giggle.

He gave me the letter, opened the small box and put the ring, which was made of silver and had engravings, on my ring finger. I looked at the beautiful ring and the letter and looked at Gilbert again. „So do you forgive me? and.. eh- ehm do you want be my girlfriend?", he asked me and I looked at him in shook and ran bright red. „Eh- .. yeah?", I replied, slightly smiling as he pulled me into a hug. „I really love you Jules..", he whispered into my ear. I smiled and whispered back: „me too.. I love you Gilbert". After the hug , I looked back at the letter and was about to open it, when Gilbert stopped me. „It's for later.. when you are alone, only you should read it", he said while I could see a slight redness on his cheeks. „I don't really want to go yet, but I still have some things to do today.. I will see you at school.. my love", he said, kissed me on the cheek and walked past me.

I kept holding the letter in my hand and began to smile.. Gilbert and I.. we are together!

I love him and he loves me, oh how wonderful that is! I thought to myself and twirled happily around, when a voice behind me suddenly asked: „Jules?". I immediately turned around and saw Timothée standing in front of me. He looked completely wrecked, like he had been crying... what happened to him? „Timmy? are you alright? you look a little bit exhausted", I said anxiously and was about to touch his face, as he slammed my hand away and replied with: „I'm fine". I looked at him in shook, as he lowered his head and then asked me: „You.. and Gilbert? are you together now?". I looked at him confused and answered with: „How? Eh- what? yes, yes we are, why do you ask?". He looked at me for a moment, his jaw tightened and he nodded as he then turned around and walked away.

„Timmy?! Timothée?!", I shouted, as he did not stop walking, I ran after him and pulled his sleeve. He turned around vigorously and I saw so much anger in his eyes that I got scared. Suddenly tears rolled down his face. what is going on? I'm starting to get really worried.. „Timmy? why are you crying? what is going on?", I asked him anxiously, when he didn't even look at me. „We can't be friends anymore..", he muttered so quietly that I hardly understood. „What did you say?", I asked. „We can't be friends anymore!", he shouted at me and immediately tears came to my eyes. He.. had never yelled at me before.. Never did I saw him that angry at me. What happened to him? He looked at me for a brief moment before finally letting me down and leave me behind. I broke down in tears and couldn't stop crying.

What did he mean with we can't be friends anymore? Why? Do his parents not allow him to be friends with me anymore? Or is there another reason for that.. why was he so angry at me, when I told him that Gilbert and I are together.. shouldn't he be happy for me, he wanted me to be happy and be together with Gilbert, but now I am and he's angry at me and shouts at me and doesn't even want to be my friend anymore. What did I do? What did I do wrong? that he was so upset. I haven't even saw him today and the first thing he does, when he saw me today was being angry and slamming my hand away from his face. I was really scared.. I even thought he would hit me.. my best friend Timothée would never do that, but whoever that was, was not the Timmy I know and I don't know what to think about this.

Now I'm together with Gilbert.. I should be so happy right now because that was the thing I wanted for so long, but I don't have my best friend Timothée anymore and it kinda makes me more sad than happy to know that I only have Gilbert on my side left.. Timothée is or better was my best friend, he was a better friend than Gilbert a while ago and now.. he just ends the friendship.. because I'm together with Gilbert? Why did he do that to me? That is not fair..