Under Coloured Trees || Larry Stylinson

25

The three days that separate Louis from Saturday go by both painfully slow and scarily fast. And he is really looking forward to it but he's also terrified of what may happen. However, it's not like they said they'd meet on Saturday and then didn't talk for the rest of the week. See, Louis wouldn't have been able to deal with that. But seeing Harry at the bookstore, talking to him, indirectly referring to the weekend, it was all very reassuring to Louis. Like he hadn't made it all up, like Harry was there and wanted to spend time with him, like it was something very much present in both of their minds.

On Friday night, when they said goodbye after work before each going their own way, Harry had reached towards Louis' hand and squeezed it, catching Louis slightly off guard as he looked down at their joined hands and then up at Harry.

"See you tomorrow?" Harry had said with a beaming smile on his face. And Louis realised. He realises how much he actually likes Harry. And he's aware of how terrifying that is, it gives him literal anxiety, in fact. But he wants this, he needs it. He trusts Harry. He knows Louis and Louis knows him.

"Yeah" his eyes fell down to Harry's lips for a moment. And he really -really- wanted to lean in, he really did. But he felt like he should wait. Like maybe it's too soon. He saw that Harry had noticed what Louis was looking at and how he returned the look. "Let's say at six?"

"So, six-thirty then?" Harry had smiled when Louis shoved him gently.

"Hey! I will be on time" Louis complained, crossing his arms and seething while Harry laughed at him and nodded in a way that said "Sure you will" without using actual words. "Oh, by the way. Don't wear like... nice clothes" Louis had said, his feigned dudgeon slipping off his mind for a second.

"What?" Harry said, frowning confused.

"I know your clothes and I know you like them. Just wear something that... you know, you don't mind getting ruined" Louis had explained as well as he was able to, trying his best not to give too much away. But Harry's addled expression didn't budge, so Louis just sighed. "Just trust me, yeah?" he said reassuringly, and Harry had just nodded and said "I trust you" and it was that simple.

But also it wasn't. Because that meant something else to them. It went beyond a simple date, even if that date had been the main character of Louis' emotional crisis for the past week.

There are so many implications written in the small print of the word 'trust'. It's not just any word for Louis and it certainly is not any word for Harry. And they both know this. And in spite of everything, in spite of himself, Louis feels so, so lucky to be able to say that he is considered trustworthy by Harry Styles. Considered someone worth letting in.

So as he leaves his room, the doubts start rounding Louis' head again. His palms are sweaty and his breath is shaky and his stomach feels tingly but he tries to bring himself not to care, not to listen to the voice in his head yelling a big, loud "No" inside of him.

"Where are you going?"

And shit. He totally forgot to make up an excuse for Liam. He doesn't want to tell him anything, he's not ready. Not because it's something he feels the need to hide but because he hasn't even figured it out himself, let alone talked about it to anyone. He's told Lottie about the date, yes, but they haven't discussed Louis' feelings. Because she knows Louis and how it's difficult to express himself, because he wasn't allowed to until now and those parts of you destined to help you understand yourself get smaller and smaller if they're not used regularly, they get rusty until they become a pile of junk in the old garage of your mind.

"Oh... I- umm" and now is the time to put his non-existent acting skills to the test. "I left one of my notepads at work yesterday, I'm going to need it tomorrow" and wow, he wasn't expecting that to come out so believable.