||Koi No Yokan|| Park Seonghwa

||Chapter 34||

Life was starting to be normal again for Carys. It was all falling back into place now, like a puzzle with all the mismatched ends finally in their rightful place. She had gone back to work, the familiar scent of old and new books filling her lungs as she exhaled in relief. The library was still closed when she arrived: that meant she had some time to do inventory, rearrange the bookshelves with the newest arrivals, and get back into her usual, comforting routine.

The past weeks had been...so much. So many things had happened all in a row, and she deserved a break from all of that. Or at least, that's what she thought.

Normalcy flew out of the window the second she caught a glimpse of a familiar silhouette while stacking the newest arrivals neatly into their reserved shelves.

"Hongjoong?"

He looked different: his face was paler than usual, and his hair had a few dark grey streaks in them, probably from all the stress he had endured after the accident. The chain gifted from him by Apollo was still around his neck, a harsh reminder that he hadn't completely healed yet.

She didn't say anything at first. She let him in, closing the door behind her, not even bothering to turn the "Open" sign: if he was here, then no one else needed to be.

"Hi," he said, keeping his hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans.

"Hi. I was told you were..."

"Recovering, I know. But I couldn't go another day without seeing you"

"Another? It's barely been three days since we saw each other"

Hongjoong sighed, then kept talking.

"Time works differently in my mother's domain: for me, it's been...a lot of time"

"Okay, then...let's talk"

She guided him upstairs to the reading area: since she had the suspect no one knew where he was, she figured it would've been better to talk far from indiscreet eyes.

"It won't be long, I promise... I don't have much time before they figure out I'm gone"

And just like that, her suspects were confirmed. She noticed the way he tried to never get too close to her, the way he kept shoving his hands in his pockets because, the few times they came out, they were shaking uncontrollably.

He was there to say goodbye, for good this time, she was sure of that.

"Let's address the elephant in the room first: I love you. I love you, and I can't help it... but I know you don't feel the same. And I promised myself to stay away from you, but I needed to say goodbye first. And to apologize, for all the hurt I caused you"

"If they find you here..." she tried to say, but she was immediately stopped by Hongjoong.

"I'll be brought back to Nyx's palace anyway; I might as well be completely honest with you before I risk never seeing you again. It's foolish, I know, but like I said I can't help it. So, here I go...I love you so much it's hurting me to stand here in front of you, emptying my heart out knowing that you're probably listening to me out of pity. And I hate that you're pitying me because it means that you care" his voice broke as his eyes filled with tears "How can you care, after all, I put you through? Since I'm being honest, I don't think I deserve any of the kindness you and the others showed me since that day"

"Because I know it wasn't your fault!" she replied, taking a step further towards him. He took two steps back.

"Yes, it is! That night, when I helped you sleep, I observed you for a while and couldn't help but think... but you already know that part. And then I was stabbed, and that tiny crush developed into this. So yes, it is my fault, and I want to take full responsibility for my feelings so let me just..."