Falling Apart (GANG Series)

Chapter 38

Jacob's POV

      Steadfast footsteps announce themselves from down the hallway. I've been sitting here for an hour and I want to blow my brains out. I guess that's why Jace keeps a pistol in his bottom drawer. I'm more appreciative of my position in this gang right now. I move the stack of the restaurant reports over to one side of the wide desk. In seconds, Aaron, Jake, Matthew, and Adrian pile into the office.

"What is it?" I glint at them and focus down at the next papers.

"Zac. He's finally gotten in touch." Matthew's words put me in a better mood. I hurriedly sign off two casino reports, getting up halfway through my last signature.

"Who's there right now?" I begin to layer up.

"Carlos, Saul, and Eli." Aaron speaks up.

"Alright," I pull on my beanie. "You and Matthew come with me. Jake, Adrian, I need you to go do inventory and then head to the docks. There's four shipments coming in at two. They're small."

They give me soldier like nods.

"Are we delivering them to inventory?" Jake asks.

"No, bring them to the safe-house in Harlem. If anything goes wrong, call. They're addressed to John Doe, not the alias by the way."

"Got it. And the compensation?" He reminds me.

I reach over to the tiny wad. "This is for the security. If it doesn't satisfy them, you know what to do. We're not making a payment."

Jake takes the cash and secures it. Shit has simmered between Jake and I. As long as we keep conversation strictly business, I can tolerate him. I tell the guys to head down and begin their orders. I grab my finished work and tuck them into the storage folder. Shit. The inventory papers. I call Jake to run back in here. He meets me halfway in the hall and we get stuck taking the elevator with only each other's company. I hear him take a deep breath and when I finally look at him, I notice his angsty breathing.

"If you pass out, I'll leave the front desk to deal with you." I just need to get the fuck out of here.

"You're making this impossible man." He stresses.

"Just say what you gotta say Jake. You've never watched your mouth before." I make eye contact now. Maybe he'll gain common sense and know when to shut up if he sees the irritation in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Jacob." He forces himself to say. I'm surprised but my expression doesn't crack.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm apologizing. I fucked up, alright? What I told you at Christmas dinner was way out of line. It was more than shitty. I admit I said it to fuck with your head. I should've never said it." He sincerely speaks. "But that's all I'm apologizing for."

I spare him a fraction of my limited generosity and search for any fuck I might give about this. I don't know if this means anything to me. Instead of finding any reason play any part in his little mending journey, I remember the fact that he tried his nonexistent chance with Aria while we were together, he humiliated her, he tricked her into thinking he was some saint in all of this, and he constantly antagonized me. He should've just kept his mouth shut.

"Okay." I cooly say. He better leave well enough alone.

"That's it?" Of course not.

"What the hell do you want Jake, hm? That's my forgiveness. Take it or you can sulk."

"That's not forgiveness. That indifference."

"I used to think of you as a little brother, okay? That's all gone now. I can forgive and forget all the shit you've said to me. Matter of fact, consider it done. You're on a clean slate with me. You were right, I'm an asshole, I was an absolute one to the woman I love. I can understand that you liked her, but I will never understand or forget how you hurt her. That is what I will never forgive. I won't fight or argue with you but I'm not gonna fake anything either. My indifference is the most you're gonna get. You get that?"