Falling Apart (GANG Series)

Chapter 37

Aria's POV

I nervously glance back at the television. I can feel that black hole pit expanding in my belly as its energy creates a lump in my throat making it hard to breathe. I hate that I'm even considering replying. What if she's in a dangerous position? Would her father let that happen? I wouldn't put it past him. I was once her friend and then I cut ties with zero explanation. What was I suppose to say? "Hey, sorry I never texted or called but your crazy father and his friend kidnapped me and almost traded me into human trafficking"doesn't exactly seem sane at all to say. One thing I'm sure of is that I'm not going anywhere near Juilliard tonight. I try to suppress any thoughts that imply that she really needs me. Tara is alone. She found out the truth about her family and probably feels so out of sorts. And it's all on me. My eyes sting in pools of water. I haven't blinked for however long I've been contemplating responding. I flinch when I feel my aunt's hand on my knee. She pauses the movie.

"Sweetie, could you go get my planner? I think it's in my purse. It's up in my room." She's talking to Sebastian.

"Uh, yeah." he get's off the couch and his feet pad upstairs. My pupils follow his every movement until he's gone because suddenly I need to hyper-fixate on everything.

"You're hurting yourself." My aunt grabs my hand and undoes my fist where my nails made tiny crescents onto the skin of my palm.

"Oh, I didn't notice." I try to steer her away from where this talk might be headed.

"Remember you did that before every ballet recital when you were little?"

I gratefully exhale at the topic of conversation. "Did I?"

"Yes, you were so nervous you couldn't stop shaking so you would squeeze your little fist so hard. We realized you were starting to leave marks so that's why I got you that stress ball."

"Oh yeah, squishy." I think back on the basic and lame name for my stress ball. "And then Kiwi chewed it up."

"Yeah, well it was like two dollars." She manages to make me laugh. "I don't actually need my planner."

"Not for a second did I believe you did."

"What's wrong? Or are you just feeling really anxious? Tell me what you need." Her words remind me just how lucky I am to have her.

"No, it is something. It's not anything you'd wanna know though. Trust me."

"If it's bothering you I wanna know."

"It has to do with an old friend."

"Okay . . ." she indicates for me to go on.

"I met her here. We haven't spoken in months but she wants to and I can't because it's dangerous for me to but I also can't help but feel that it's important that I do go to her."

"Dangerous how?" her mood quickly reflects mine.

"She's the daughter of Jacob's rival." I quickly say. "Well, Jace's I should say."

She stares at me unsure what to do or say. I think it still shocks her to know what Jacob does. I don't think she's fully processed it.

"Mom! I can't find it!" Sebastian's voice startles her.

She finally exhales. "Could you check my desk please?! If it's not there then just come down!"

"Yeah!" He yells back.

I crack my knuckles over and over again.

"I hate this." She finally responds to me. I search for anger or annoyance in her voice but find none. None even the anticipation of a lecture. Purely worry.