Memories and Strangers (A danisnotonfire fanfic )

1: Off to London

I rang Claire's door. I still didn’t know what time it was. But I knew Claire would let me in no matter how late it was.

“Hey”, I smiled wryly, as she opened the door. She was wearing her PJs and her long blond curls were dishevelled. 

”Come in”, she said sleepily. I dropped the bag with clothes in the hallway and Claire trapped me in a tight hug. We haeven't seen each other for a while and I realised how much i missed her.  

”So Fay is back now?”, she asked in a low voice. 

I wasn’t sure. But I was closer to myself than yesterday. 

”I want to leave, Claire. I decided. I made a decision”, I whispered. into her hair. For anyone listening, this might not sound particularly special but for me it was!

”It’s okay”, she whispered back, rubbing circles into my back. 

I noticed I was crying, “You’re doing the right thing. You have nothing left here. I’ll come with you. It will get better”

”I know”, I sobbed.

We went into the living room, that was more familiar to me than anything else. This was my home. 

 She got me a pillow and a blanket. Then she handed me a bowl of sweets and put in our favorite movie: ‘Little Miss Sunshine’.

It always made both of us laugh, no matter how often we watched it. And it reminded us of old times. Many happy memories were coming back. I remembered slowly, that I was abled to be happy. 

”We’re going to London, alright?”, Claire asked me, as the movie was finished.

 ”Anywhere”, I answered. London sounded good. I always liked London. I have already been there once and of any city i ever visited, London was the most beautiful one. 

 ”I’ll organise everything. You can live at my place unitl we leave”

”Thank you. I’m so lucky to have you”.

I realised that Claire was my light. For some part at least. But still I felt incomplete. 

One year ago, I was literally never alone. i always had friends around me.

The last weeks I spent all alone. I didn’t even talk to Claire. 

I was just lost. The only thing I did was sitting in my bed and staring, while the sun came up and down again.

I ate, when I was hungry. But apart from that I didn’t do anything. 

I was getting aware, that this really wasn’t who I am. I was a bright person. Someone colourful. Creative. And unique. Confident. Beautiful. 

I would get that back. No matter what I had to do for that.

The next day I went to the hair dresser. I got my dry, blonde hair coloured brown. I also made her add some green strands, to make me stand out.

Then I borrowed clothes from Claire, deciding to buy myself some new ones in London.

I went for a walk each day for at least two hours. I was like therapy. I used to give myself a therapy, everytime I was in dispair.

I was thinking about everything I have ever done. 

 Deciding to become the girl, I was three years ago. I was happy then. I had a lot of friends. I was painting. I was playing the piano. I had a boyfriend that loved me. 

How can one person change so much in three years?

I wasn’t myself anymore.

That was the thing driving me crazy the most. Who was I?

I also had really long conversations with Claire.

After one week she told me we were leaving that night. 

We arrived at the airport at 11pm.

The last thing I did in Germany was throwing a sheet of paper down to the ground. 

I painted everything I wanted to leave in Germany on it. Only I could understand it. 

 It felt like a huge, ugly part of me was standing at the airport waving at me, saying goodbye.

I waved back and whispered goodbye.

Sitting in the plane Claire and me were talking about how great everything would be and I got excited for the first time after all the bad things happened.  

Next chapter she will meet Dan :D

Hope you liked it (:

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