teddy bear

Cheetah

Tuesday, March 24, 2015
6:14 AM

Dear Olivia,

I can't continue with these letters. I love writing them and I love you, but this can't go on. I shouldn't have given you my first initial. I know that you might not be able to figure out my identity from only that, but I think that you will, because you are intelligent and observent.
Please don't try to figure out who I am. It won't help either of us. I will miss you and these letters. I will miss you more that you could ever imagine, Olivia. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. but I know I have to.
Olivia, you are the light of my life, and you have been for years. you will never be far from my thoughts, but I advise you to keep me out of yours. never doubt my love for you. that's the last thing I want. don't let me upset you, because I'm simply not worth being upset over.
I'm sorry I have I do this. it's what's best for both of us.
maybe, if the sun decides to smile kindly down on me, we will meet someday. face to face, at a time when we are both happy. I will immediately know who you are, and maybe something in your heart will tell you who I am.
Olivia, you are always in my heart.
Sincerely,
A.

-

I couldn't make myself watch Olivia open the final letter. I couldn't watch her face fall, I couldn't stand to let her down or to upset her.
I walked quickly to the bus stop with silent tears flowing down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and they went by unnoticed.
I saw her approach from the corner of my eye. I wanted to look at her, but I didn't want to see her expression.
Maybe she was happy that I was finally leaving her alone. Maybe she was broken.
I wouldn't know. I looked away and waited for the bus. When it pulled up I got in and walked straight to the back and sat beside my friend Michael just like I always did. I didn't for a second glance her way, and that might be a good thing. The tears that were spilling out of her eyes streaming down her face. It only would've broken me more.

Ashton why would you do that you made Olivia cry and I had to put Michael in there because he's my son
I'm sorry I haven't updated I was going to update Wednesday and then zayn left and I couldn't deal with it and I cried all night and I'm still not ok and I'm not sure how I'm still surviving without him I'm still so sad and he ran off into the sunset with mr potato head and left his four best friends c'mon zayn get your life together
but yeah I know this is a 5sos fanfic but I love one direction and zayn leaving really affected me and if any of you are sad about it and need someone to talk to I will talk to you because I love you and I don't want you to be sad
goodbye little muffins put a smile on your face for me I love you all :) xx