teddy bear

chinchilla

sunday, august 30, 2015
11:17 am

I was waiting outside a cute little cafe place, more nervous than I had been in a while. It wasn't because I hadn't seen her in a long time, because I had been with her two days ago.
I nervously threw the small, soft stuffed animal back and forth between my hands. It had been a while since I had given her an animal, and I was afraid she'd be suspicious. The letter that went with the toy, which I had proofread so many times I had memorized it, was sticking out of my back pocket. Olivia was only two minutes late but I was scared she wasn't going to show up. I almost hoped she didn't come so that I couldn't follow through with my plan.
I saw Olivia's car drive into the parking lot. I stuffed the chinchilla into my backpack and hurried over to her car. I opened the door for her, blushing as soon as I did it because it wasn't something I normally did. I hadn't been flustered around her for months, but right then my hands were shaking.
"Hey Ashton!" Olivia greeted me, along with a huge smile and a hug.
"Hey, Liv." I smiled, but I knew I wasn't as enthusiastic as I normally was. Olivia either didn't notice or decided not to mention it.
"I hope you are able to pay like you said you would, because I didn't bring money, because I'm not expecting to pay, because you said you would pay... which I already said. Yeah." Olivia babbled, and I noticed how much she had changed since I wrote her the first letter.  I had hoped that she had changed at lease partially because of me, that I had helped break down the walls surrounding the beautiful girl and helped her come out of her shell.
"Of course i brought money. But I'm not rich, so don't eat too much!" I tried for a joke, which didn't work well. Thankfully Olivia laughed anyway.
"How are you feeling about senior year?" She asked me as we walked into the cafe. I told here what she already knew, because we had talked about this before. But it's important and nerve wracking, finishing high school and going to uni, so it's a topic where the conversation never ends.
As we sat down, our food came immediately. I had told the waitress what we both wanted before Olivia arrived, and by the surprised and pleased look on her face I figured I got her order right.
I grinned at her when she looked up at me. All she said was thanks before starting to eat her blueberry muffin. I cut up my pancakes and took a bite, deciding when the best time to give her the letter was. I somehow convinced myself that there was no time like the present, and forced myself to give it to her right then.
"Olivia," I took a deep breath as she looked up from her almost finished her muffin. "I have something for you." I fished the animal from my bag and grabbed the letter from my pocket, then handed them to her. "I'm, uh, going to.. the bathroom." I quickly stood up and left our booth, not wanting to see her expression as she read the letter.

little Liv,

you know, of course, that I loved you. I'm not sure if you realize that I still do. I'm in love with you. you said that you loved me, and I'm still not sure if I believed you. even if you did, the chances that you still do are incredibly low. love me like a brother or a best friend, maybe... but I don't love you like that. my heart is still invested in you,  and my emotions will always go hand in hand with yours.
maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this, because of course I've told you that I love you. but we never really talked about it. you still make me nervous and flustered and make me blush.
I want to spend every minute of every day with you, until you get sick and tired of me and send me away.
don't worry, I'm not proposing or anything. this might seem a bit extra since im really only asking you to be my girlfriend, but it's a big deal when you're hoping to turn it into something more. so yes, I do want to spend my whole life with you. but we're young and the next few years are daunting enough. thinking about the rest of our lives is completely overwhelming.
im sorry if you think I'm overreacting to this question that so many find simple, or if you don't feel the same way. I'll understand. but no matter what happens, I've never lied to you. everything I've ever said or written to you is so completely true, and I love you.
if you didn't get it yet, I'm asking you to be my girlfriend. you can just tell me yes or no, but knowing you, you'll probably find some extra special way of telling me your answer.

love,
A

I waited several minutes before I left the bathroom. I quickly noticed that Olivia wasn't sitting at our table. The color drained from my face as I concluded that she had left because she didn't feel the same way. I had known that it could happen, but of course I didn't expect it to. You don't climb a mountain thinking you won't make it down.
I was ready to sink into the closest chair and start crying when a hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. Before I had time to register anything a pair if lips connected with mine for only a second.
"It took you long enough, A." Olivia whispered before kissing me again.
"I love you." I told her.
She smiled, and I smiled back. holding my hand she guided me back to our table. "Yes." She said, before taking my blueberry muffin from my plate and taking a bite.

hello friends and family.. it's been a very long time. sorry if it's bad but actually I'm not bc I like it take that world.!! yeah um there's one more chapter that will be up whenever I feel like putting it up. goodbye beauties :}