Obsession

14

-obsession-
—14
I didn't know what trance you were putting me in. The way I stormed
out, just to have myself be back into that goddamn car. It was ironic. I
was even thinking about routes to follow to the bus stop. But the fact that
you ran after me was- surprising. More than that actually. What if I was
the one who truly is obsessed with you. And you- you're just going along
with things? If that's true, I don't think I could breathe.
Mom wasn't home that night. She would always work late shifts, I guess
that applies to her new job too. It was quiet at home, especially when
we had no television. Mother needs to set it all up from the moving
company. So it's just me, I've already written in my diary. So I guess it's
time to fantasize.
-day of break up-
"I told you! You don't have to go to the dance if you don't want to," I
smile, holding his hand as we walked to second period.
"I do, why wouldn't I?" He asks, moving to the front of me to get my full
attention. "You don't seem..in it-" I say.
"I want to if it's gonna be with you- you best bet imma see you in a
dress," He smiles. I swat his arm playfully. I never wore dresses. They
were uncomfortable, loose, and baggy. I hated the way my legs felt so
free with no leverage behind them. I hated the way dresses looked on
me personally. It's more of an insecure fault.
"I'm just saying you will look great, I want you to show you off yk?" He
laughs.
"Aye Hossler!" Josh yells from behind us.
"Hey um- I'll catch you in second?" He asks me, but I simply shake my
head.
"But we always walk to second?" I say, still holding his hand as he slowly
slips it away.
"Hossler!" He repeats.
"Save me a seat alright!" His voice raises, startling me for a second
before he disappears, laughing into the hallway.
(That was my first sign)
-

Jaden never came to second period. He skipped, not even telling me
where or why he did it. It had to be Josh- he would never skip just
because, especially when it's a period with me.
I sit at the empty lunch table alone, eating my 3 cookies and water. I
looked slumped, I was sad that Jaden just ditched me for his friends. Blew
me off as he pushed my hand away from him. I felt, mad, sad, and the
fact that I was eating alone was just ridiculous.
"Guess who it is," Simone put their hands in front of my eyes, obviously I
know who it is. I slowly turned around, emotionless as my sadness and
anger boiled together. To make this living depressed Demon- that's what I
felt like.
"Surprise!" Jaden smiles. I don't say anything, I just shove the last cookie
into my mouth.
"What's wrong princess?" He tries. "Where were you Jaden?" I ask and he runs his hands through his hair.
"Look. I- I'm sorry," he says.
"Answer?" I wait for a response but nothing comes out.
(That was my second sign)
"Jaden?" I ask once more.
"Look I can't tell you, but trust me on this okay? I want to do everything I
can to make this right!" His words confuse me. Having the least bit of
sense in my head.
"Jaden? What are you saying?" My voice cracks.
"Hossler!" Josh calls again, making him turn to him, then back at me.
"I'll be back! Just- wait at our spot," he plans and I nod. Hoping he
would explain this "situation" to me, I head up to the rooftop.
Minutes and minutes go by, the class has already started. No sign of the boy
I loved who obviously was keeping secrets from me. He didn't show. Left
me here to skip, maybe purposely to get a reaction from me.
(This was the last sign) The bell rang, 5th period was over and that's when I headed down off
the roof. I had no idea why he would leave me up there, just to not show
up. Luckily I caught him by the water fountain, leaning against the brick
wall. His hands shaking, eyes trembling. He starts to repeatedly run his
hands through his hair.
"Jaden wtf!" I scream.
"Kendra..listen to me!" He screeches.
"So you're blowing me off now?" I ask. His face turns emotionless. No sign
of sadness, worry, anger, or any other emotion. It was plain- it was like
he was a programmed robot. My eyes widen as he stepped closer to me.
You see- I never feel, fear. Never in my life. But at this moment, I felt my
heart beating through my chest, as I watch, his eyes make an intense
stare into mine. This is when I first shed my tear.
"I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye Kendra," We're the last words he said to
me before he walked away...tbc