Unlovable

11: Judge Me Later

To the zero readers this Friday, we hope you like this chapter :)

It had been a solid month since I had last spoken to Abel. After that night, all hell had broken loose and everything had gone to shit. It was nearing midterms now and my roommates were extremely busy.

They were both Biology majors, which meant that they probably had four times as many challenging exams as I did. I had one test, which came in the format of an essay and short answer exam. And of my five classes, having essays for midterms was pretty much a walk in the park for me.

I had completed them early, and now, at week 6 in the semester, I had nothing to do. I had spent all my free time at Sorority events or doing homework. I had only gone on one more date since Jake and hadn't even fucked anybody since Kevin. I couldn't even bring myself to even let Jake touch me that night.

It felt wrong for some reason and I apologized for wasting his time. The misconceiving guilt prevented me from even enjoying myself after Abel drove away. Jake had dropped me off and told me to un-match with him on Universe. I had felt bad at the time, but I also didn't really care.

I had seen Abel, at the mixed events, which after the first two weeks only happened once a month. This event had been at the frat house where all the boys were ready to have some fun. Abel had spent the entire night avoiding me and I had barely seen him the entire time.

I suppose my lie to Claire had officially become a reality, and Abel was hypocritical enough to tell me that he wouldn't leave me and ended up doing exactly that. I was hurt by it, especially his lack of telling me what I did to deserve his absolute silence. I wondered if his avoidance would last forever; it would hurt losing someone I considered my best friend.

I admit, it hurt me for the first few weeks, realizing I wouldn't get to hear his laugh or make jokes about his stubble, but at this point, I was drained. I had no intention of ever talking to him again, it was just a short-lived friendship anyway.

I wondered if I should block his number and delete the pictures of us from my phone. I decided against it, they were good memories, erasing them would be a permanent action. Besides, we still had two years left at this school and I was hopeful he would eventually come around.

I lay on my bed, staring at the television. I contemplated if washing my sheets had been back luck because since they'd even washed, Abel hadn't slept beside me. I sighed, taking a deep breath in, as I sat alone in my dorm room. Noor and Yuki has been at the library for the past few days, only coming back here to shower and change their clothing for class. I guess that's what happens when you're taking chemistry, biology, math, and physics at the same time. I could never have dared attempt that.

I checked a group chat that I had recently joined at one of the frat parties that I had gone to alone to see if there was anything going on tonight. I highly doubted anything would be going on considering it was midterms season and everybody tended to procrastinate.

Party Animalz GC
Rooftop hangout at 560 Hilgarden, $5 to enter, unlimited vodka!

I contemplated going, perhaps I could meet a boy, get blackout drunk for once, and sleep endlessly. But, the only boy I could even think of, and have only been able to think of for the past fucking month, was Abel.

If I did go to that, I'd probably end up talking some poor saps ear off all night about Abel. I didn't even know what it was about him. Perhaps the fact that he had established that bond with me and then destroyed it so quickly or maybe it was because he left me as suddenly as my father had.

At least with Abel, I knew there was a possibility of speaking to him again.

I dreaded thinking about my dad. But it seemed like, even when he was gone, my problems somehow all still stemmed from him. I took a deep breath, I would just sleep tonight, it might've been barely eight at night, but I could sleep early. Tomorrow was Thursday after all, and I had an early class around noon. Or maybe I can stay up and do my laundry.