Amber (L.P)

One

Amber

Have you ever had that feeling when you're walking through the halls at school and you feel like everyone is staring at you? Yeah, that's what I feel everyday.

I'm not conceited or anything, in fact I'm far from it, very insecure-but that's a different story.

I just feel like everyone is judging me and thinking, "Wow look at her, why is she wearing that? Wow her thighs are bigger than normal thighs. Why does she think she can wear converse like everyone else?"

Some of the daily thoughts my messed up mind worries about that is probably not even happening in people's heads. Well hopefully not anyway.

-
"Amber come on, you can't be serious about this." Nicole leans in her bag and grabs out a calculator.

"Okay, I'm bad at math, you're good at math. While you're helping me, it would make me feel better if you didn't get stressed when I get stressed about not being able to do a problem. Thank you." My sarcasm fills her bedroom.

She scoffs, "Yeah, I'm the problem. You're just too lazy to think about it and want me to do it for you!"

"Yeah, you're right. I never want to learn math so I can do it on my own. I'm faking it so I have to go to my best friends' house right after school rather than going home, eating, and taking a nap." I raise my hands up, "You got me!"

"Well maybe if you tried thinking harder, you'd understand." She leans forward and continues helping me through a problem.

These are normal after school situations for me. After the anxiety the people in school bring on me, the school work doesn't help either. And not understanding only makes matters worse.

-
"Why don't you just go talk to him?" Nicole nudges me whispering. The beautiful Liam Payne sits at the lunch table two in front of ours, making me swoon every single day.

He's the typical popular jock, one of the smartest kids in class, gorgeously handsome(if that even makes sense...yeah you feel me). There's just one problem, he doesn't usually take notice in the not popular people or the un pretty girls.

"Oh, you're right! Why didn't I think of that? Wow, numb nuts over here!" I circle my finger in the air towards my head with full sarcasm.

"Yeah let's see how that goes. I walk up to him, say, 'Hi Liam', have an anxiety attack, start sweating buckets, cheeks flush red-"

"Oh my gosh stop being so dramatic Amber! Sure you're cheeks would get red, like it's an uncommon thing though," She shrugs, "And a little sweat happens, but at least he notices you rather than your constant fantasizing that you do."

"I'm too afraid, he doesn't care, and he's obvi way out of my league which we have established, and just no. I will continue to admire from afar thank you." I grab a fork and stab it into the pineapple slices on the tray in front of me.

"Whatever," Nicole shrugs shuffling her chicken nuggets around on her tray, "Keep dreaming then, just stop making your stares so obvious, you're practically drooling."

I sit up quickly and take my lingering eyes away from the beauty laughing with his jock friends and fawning cheerleaders.

I let out a big sigh looking up for one last glimpse, "Why must he be so perfect and I be so weird?"

"Hey, no one is normal. We're all weird." Nicole stuffs a nugget into her mouth.

"Define normal? Because that's what I'm going for." I set my water bottle back down on the table sighing once more.