Pride

Chapter Twenty-Four

Shakyra Smalls

"If you love me won't you say somethin'? If you love me won't you?"

-Daniel Caesar feat. H.E.R.; Best Part

I didn't totally understand what Trevante and I were doing. We weren't dating. We weren't calling each other boyfriend or girlfriend. I could hardly call him my friend. I learned in the past couple of weeks that he was easy to talk to. Once you got past his sarcasm and barbed insults I learned he was intelligent with world views that made me want to hear more even if I didn't totally understand or agree with them. I loved to hear him talk. He wasn't just one of those boys that looked fine but had no substance just because they knew they could get any girl they wanted. I enjoyed having someone outside of my friends that I could share that rapport with. It was a beautiful thing to be respected for my mind even after I'm lusted over my body.

I thought we'd end up slowing up after our last conversation in his car but Trevante didn't exactly back off. He didn't push forward either but didn't back off and I was grateful. Weeks ago he would've turned cold on me but I saw he was maturing and it was everything I could do not to tell him I'd leave Jay behind and see what he was about. I always held back however, thinking that on one end I didn't want to keep getting 'saved'. Jay had saved me from the heartbreak of DeMarcus. It would be overkill for him to have to save me from the heartbreak of Jay. Also, it was apparent that he felt like Jay and I weren't finished. On one end, I felt we were.

I'd been ignoring him for a couple of days now since the new semester started. I was saddened by our breakup and I felt hurt and disrespected by how he'd tossed me aside. I was even more disturbed at how easy it was for him to be seen around school with other girls as well and turn up his nose whenever I walked by. I thought that by now he would've at least said hello to me but he had nothing to say. It'd been radio silence and while my heart was soft enough to let him back in with no pushback during the vacation, I was definitely having fun being under Trevante. Being the center of his attention did things to me that Jay couldn't. Had things gone differently, I'm pretty sure I would've been with him already.

However, comma.

We were dancing as T-Pain and Tory Lanez banged through the speakers. My arms were around his neck and his were planted around my waist. The energy was making me drunk with giddiness. His answering smile was adorable and almost emboldened me to show him the same affection he showed me the other day but again, something held me back. All I could do was bite the side of my cheek to keep myself in check.

To further keep myself in check, I turned around just as Burna Boy started to play. It was a perfect hype song to dance to as well without doing the most. I blushed deeper as he hands planted themselves on my hips.

"I love how you move, sweetheart." He said in my ear, "I could almost imagine..."

I smirked, turning a little bit, "Imagine what?"

"Use your imagination." He chuckled, "Before I show you what I'm talking about."

I turned back around, beside myself with his slick mouth, "Show me? What you tryin' to show me?"

He bit his lip.

"Shakyra...you're always tempting me, you know that?"

"Always?"

"Yes, always. I'm trying to do right for once in my life and now we're standing here and I wanna make you mine. It wouldn't be right though..."