Pride

Chapter Eighteen

Shakyra Smalls

"You've been so unavailable, now sadly I know why...your heart is unobtainable even though Lord knows you kept mine..."

-I'm Not the Only One; Sam Smith

I had just gotten off the bus with the last of my gifts. I sighed, not truly in the mood to wrap up anything I had planned to push through.

I was contemplating the move I was about to make with Jay as I looked down at the Victoria Secret bags, I held in my hands. Inside the iconic pink bags was the lingerie I had purchased. I had chosen various shades of the color red, thinking it would look beautiful against my skin tone in my efforts to seduce my boyfriend.

I'd been feeling guilty about being standoffish towards him and for some reason figured me giving him my virginity would prove to him that I was serious about us. I wanted him to understand the depth of my commitment to him, especially for how well he's treated me. His patience was a huge turn on, and I didn't know many guys who would patiently wait for one girl to get over an ex when they could have their pick of the student body.

Jay didn't put it out there since it's not really his style, but I did know and understand that he could have his pick. He came from a family with decent money. He was projected to graduate second to Lichelle as far as the rankings went for this year alone. He was very adamant about a job in the tech world which meant that my long-term financial status was pretty much set in stone. Jay was a person about his business because he was interested in the long term. I liked that about him a lot. A relationship with someone wasn't just fun and games. He was definitely very attracted to me and I him.

There was just the issue of DeMarcus looming over my head. I wasn't sure if a lot of my movements were because of my past relationship or not. I had to admit to still having residual feelings left over. I was very confused on them because although the beginning was nice and there'd been a moment where I thought things were turning around, DeMarcus showed me otherwise. That part, after the insult of Davida was one of the things that harrowed my mind the most and made me feel like I wasn't good enough.

Those thoughts were in mind when I bumped into him head on and dropped everything on the ground.

DeMarcus sucked his teeth as he bent down and gathered all my bags up for me. Some of the lingerie peeked out and I felt myself flushing a little. He chuckled a little bit.

"Where was all that for me?"

I looked up at him and smirked, hiding my indignation. I thought I had done swell until I opened my mouth and answered him.

"You got impatient, Boogie."

I watched the regret come into his face. Somehow, it made my heart mend a little more. It was always possible that his breaking up with Davida and his last words to her could've just been a ploy. I didn't think it was, knowing my ex. He wasn't a man that minced words when his patience ran low. I was on the receiving end of that scenario quite a few times.

As it was, DeMarcus looked down at me and motioned for me to walk with him. We stood on the intersection of Gates and Louis. One direction would lead us to his house and the other to mine. We walked towards his house and sat out on his stoop. I sighed, remembering the first time we ever sat out here and had a conversation.

DeMarcus' family was on the lower end of the bracket like me and Ketara. His mother was the head of the household and was working as an executive assistant to one of the vice presidents in Morgan Stanley. She raised four children, two of them able to pick up the slack after they moved out and got decent careers of their own. I met one of them in passing, who regarded me in a way that made me feel like I had a chance to be a part of the family. Jaleel, his younger brother was the one I'd seen the most. He was a very quiet and perceptive person and in truth, I kind of wished that I ended up talking to him instead. He was loyal to his brother, so he never was disrespectful, but it was obvious he hadn't been pleased of his brother's treatment of me either. That much gave me comfort as well. Some people cheered their brothers on good or bad.