It's okay not to be okay

Wait you are what

I am so sorry for the late update. I wanted to publish this sooner but sadly lost the whole chapter when my computer froze. So yeah. here is chapter 4

Finally her shift was over, this night felt like it would never end so many calls she had probably rested for 2 hours. She needed coffee and a lot off it. Andy felt a combination of nervous and excited thinking about talking with Robert again. She walked to the reception and there he was already standing waiting for her with ofcourse coffee this felt like a dream come true. 'Goodmorning beautifull' he said taking her into a hug 'hi you are a sight for sore eyes' she rested her head on his chest. 'Tough shift?' 'Yes you have no idea, thanks for the coffee'. They left the station and got into Robert's car. 'I know that we were planning to talk after shift but i really need to take a nap before any important conversation, could you drop me off at Deans so i can get some sleep and a shower i'll meet you at your place after.' Andy asked. 'You know it is still your place too right? You still have a lot of your stuff and clothes there, you can nap at our place if you want. We have all day there is no need to rush.' Robert glanced over to her and gave a little smile. 'Are you sure i'm not overstepping? i mean we know we want to work on our relationship but is it really smart for me to sleep at your place?' Andy asked honestly 'Our place Andrea our place. I missed you around the house i'm not saying we should start living together before we work through our issues. Don't worry i don't think you are into anything more then sleep at least not right now you look tired.' He started laughing and gave her a little kiss. 'Okay then let's go'.

They got home 'Babe why don't you go take a shower while i make us some breakfast?' He asked. 'Yeah sure don't you mind?' 'Not at all now go shower before our house starts too smell like smoke, take your time.' He started getting the things for breakfast while Andy went upstairs. She felt out off place walking upstairs, she used to live here but the last time she spent the night and took a shower at his place was almost a year ago. Everything was still the same. She got her overnight bag with her but couldn't help to grab one of his shirts. She looked over to the bed and thought about their first times, conversations in the afterglow, the i love you's, lazy mornings with breakfast in bed, she misses how simple those days were and shook her head a bit to get rid off the image. Andy took a shower and thought about the last couple off days. In the meantime Robert was making french toast and was cutting up some fruit to go along with it. While he was plating the food he heard Andy coming downstairs in yoga pants, fuzzy socks and one off his shirts that looked like a dress. He used to always act so annoyed when she was wearing his clothes but they both knew he secretly loved it. 'Something smells delicious' Andy hugged Robert from behind and took in the mix off his laundry detergent and cologne and sat down at the table 'It's just french toast nothing special' Robert grabbed the plates and walked over. 'I wasn't talking about the food' Andy smirked and took a bite off the food. They had breakfast together talking about the calls she went on last shift.

Dishes washed Andy let out a loud sigh while she sat down on the couch and made herself comfortable. Robert walked to her and sat next to her, she layed her head down on his lap immediatly he started playing with her hair while she closed her eyes. 'Shouldn't you take a nap babe, i can see that you're tired?' 'Yes i'll head to bed in 10 minutes i am too comfortable right now.' she kept her eyes closed while talking. 'I looked at some relationship counselors and found one that i think will fit with us. When do you have your first session for your individual therapy?' Robert asked while still playing with her hair looking down at her. 'uhmm. My first session is tomorrow and to be honest i am pretty scared to open up to a stranger. I always kept my problems to myself because otherwise i felt like a burden. It's so new for me to open up about my trauma.Meredith told me back when you had your surgery that the body relives the traumatic event. I'm not sure i can handle that. I know i need help i just hate feeling weak.' tears started froming in her eyes. 'You know i had therapy myself when i got back from the marines. I saw so many terrible things that i started developing PTSD.  I will be lying if i tell you it's gonna be easy cause it really is so hard. You start remembering and reliving things you haven't thought about in years but when you face your demons head on and work through them it helps to finally start letting go. Remember you aren't alone in this process you have your family, friends and me who will always be there for you. The fact that you made an appointment tells me you are willing to improve as a person. Like you once told me it's not about purity it's about growth.' He gave her a little kiss and sat back again when he heard a quiet 'thank you' coming from Andy. 'Try to sleep a little love' one hand was still playing with her hair while the other move to the little off her back and started caressing her. About 5 minutes later he looked down and saw Andy asleep on his lap. She looked so small. He made some plans for tonight that he needed to prepare. He picked Andy up and walked her to his or better said their bedroom. He walked past the guest bedroom but it didn't feel right to let her sleep there. He slowly layed her down on her side off the bed got her socks off cause she always would complain that she feels trapped when wearing socks under a blanket. he ut the blanket over her gave her a kiss on her head and walked away.