late for the love of my life

ch. 5

The furious scratching of a pen on paper filled the otherwise silent room until it quieted with an abrupt halt, ending with one last dot.

Dream quickly scanned over his writing, not wanting to leave out a single detail. The reflection of light in George's eyes. How dazed his laugh sounded when they stepped off a ride. His hair messing up in a way that made Dream's breath catch.

There were pages filled with just this single memory, of their day at the carnival, it being now barely an hour ago since they parted. Dream felt like he had to put every single thought to paper, every small insignificant detail needed to be recorded, like he would forget or that it somehow wouldn't be real.

The paper grounded him, placing the words down solidified that George didn't only exist in his head, contained merely in swirling thoughts and hazy golden memories.

This was tangible.

Dream carefully taped a ticket stub from one of their booth games, gliding his fingers on top to press it down, secure. Permanent.

There were various reasons why Dream felt the need to document. Proof of George's existence, not wanting to rely only on memory that would surely fade as time passes, to organize all his thoughts and feelings in the swift move of a pen.

Dream also knew the more painful reasons, the ones that made his heart ache as the pages filled with his musings.

That this could be all he'll ever have of George.

In the beginning, when Dream first laid eyes on the other, he'd been confident, brushing off concern of George's current, and in his mind, soon to be previous, boyfriend.

At the time, it was inconsequential.

Now... the problem was more complex. Dream felt conflicted. Guilty.

He shouldn't be in love with someone who already filled that place in their heart.

Especially since hearing how happy George was. When Dream would prod and pester, trying in his insistent manner to get George to open up, spill stories about his life in a way he so rarely did.

Dream almost hated hearing them sometimes, but not as much as he was dying to know more.

As nearly all centered around George's other soulmate. Sapnap.

George made it sound like his life didn't even begin until he met Sapnap. Which, even though Dream felt the exact same way about George, the insinuation still made him roll his eyes.

Sapnap had years with George, and clearly, he was successful in making the other happy.

George relayed fond memories of their lives together, and the seemingly endless shenanigans they would get themselves into. His smile would be warm, his voice soft and sweet, always so happy when he talked about Sapnap.

Dream's chest would tighten, his throat constrict, knowing he was the cause of trouble in the calm water of George's life.

Even George himself admitted he never faced much adversity, things often just went smoothly in his course of life, sighing with a smile that he definitely got too comfortable and that everything was suspiciously too easy.

George left out the unspoken words, the ones Dream knew he intentionally didn't say.

Until now.

Everything was easy, until now. Until Dream.

Why would the universe do this? Bring Dream close to George when he clearly couldn't have him. It felt unnecessarily cruel.

Every day, Dream was starting to doubt the chance he thought he had, that George would ever choose him.