CHIM - One Hundred Dozen (Lesbian Story) (Cheryl, Kimberley, Girls Aloud)

- Thirty-Nine -

A/N: Sorry, I suck, I know! Just been super busy with school/work and my mind got away from me. This update ended up being SOOO long! This isn't even all of it. I figured I may as well post the first half so you's at least have something to read from me. I'll work away at the next bit and post it as a new update (Chapter 40, omg!)  

As always, thank you for your patience and thank you for reading! I'll be jumping ahead to Cheryl's birthday festivities soon, too! Yay! #Club30 

P.S. Check out the media provided for this chapter! LOL "Justin...how you doin'????" God, how I love Kimberley! 

- Thirty-Nine -

- According to Kimberley - 

I haven't been able to sleep. Not even for one God damn second. It's now five in the morning, so I've literally just been laying here for nearly three hours. I'm so bloody tired though. I want to sleep. But every time I shut my eyes, I see him, sitting in a hotel room somewhere looking at pictures of her. I see him watching their video. I see him with his hands on her. I see him kissing her and telling her he loves her. I see him kissing that spot on her neck that I know she loves so much because I've kissed her there a million times before. I keep making up these images in my mind and they're much too colourful when I close my eyes. Like the image of millions of people gathering in a cinema to watch their home video on the big screen. All while eating popcorn and passing drinks back and forth. I cringe. 

My imagination isn't taking any mercy on me; I want to sleep so badly but it won't let me. 

I try to focus on different imagery: the scene of Cheryl crying her heart out about what it's like to be on the verge of divorce - what it's like in those moments of desperation right before admitting defeat. I desperately try to see it her way. I know it couldn't have been easy. Of course I know; I was the one wiping away her tears. I was the one she called in the middle of the night every time he made her cry. I was the one consoling her the night she finally signed the papers. It was so sad to see my best friend go through that. I really, really feel for her.  And on some level, I do understand where this mess stemmed from. 

But now that I'm her girlfriend, and well aware of how in love I am, I'm struggling to suppress my anger. I'm so upset above it all. Rage still comfortably tops the hierarchy of emotions and I can't pull it down. I'm just...ugh, I could really break something right now. 

Switching from best friend to girlfriend and vice versa is proving very difficult. 

I untangle myself from her, careful not to wake her, and I perch myself on the edge of the bed. There's no use in trying to sleep now. It's Monday morning and I have a radio interview in a few hours. I wonder if I can cancel it. I'm not in the mood to discuss my job although I'm currently the definition of misérable. 

Damn, and then I'll have to plaster a smile on my face when the girls get here for Nadine's belated birthday celebration. This is going to be a long, long day running on no sleep. 

"Kimba?"  

I don't trust myself to speak; I don't want to cry. "Hm?" 

"Please come back." 

The innocence in her voice makes my eyes sting. Curse this soft spot I have for her. My eyes start to water and I can't see anything clearly anymore. "In a minute." 

She crawls over and sits next to me. Damn it. She knows I'm crying. 

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I really screwed up." 

"I understand it. But I'm still upset. I just need some time to process, I think." 

"Please lay with us, Kimba."