Traveler's Blessing

Chapter 21: City of Light

Lexa plops Costia on the bed and dismisses the tavern keeper. Left alone, Lexa takes off her hooded cloak that concealed her identity. She sets it on a nearby chair, along with her weapons, jacket, and armguards. The air in the room is cooler than the tavern downstairs. It is barely lit, with a small lamp hanging on the bedpost, casting shadows in all directions. Lexa leans into Costia to unclip the belt around her.

The drunken girl tries to focus on Lexa. Her soulmate is so close, and Lexa's green eyes are so piercing, so beautiful. Unlike her own olive-colored eyes in this life, so ordinary. "My eyes ... do you like them?" Costia asks softly.

"What? Yes -- yes, I do." Lexa stammers as she removes the weapons on the Fisa, setting it aside.

"Really? ... Niylah prefers blue eyes. I like them blue too." Costia hums thoughtfully.

"Niylah doesn't know what she is talking about." Lexa snorts, slightly wounded that Costia doesn't like green-colored eyes. The Commander then attempts to undress Costia and remove the red sash around Costia's neck, just in case the girl decides to throw up. She knows how much that scarf means to Costia. But Costia has other things in mind. She mumbles incoherently, voicing her discomfort with the sudden void around her neck.

"Stop ... stop ... undressing me..." Costia desperately tries to keep her inhibition intact. Lexa is too close. Any closer, Costia will want to pull her in and have her way with her. Clarke's trauma suddenly repeats in her intoxicated mind. "Titus will kill you if you have sex with me..." Costia whines.

"I -- I'm not trying to have..." Lexa flushes in exasperation before trying again, undeterred. Her strategic advisor is clearly drunk! Is Costia keeping her distance because of Titus? Lexa always sensed that Costia deliberately kept her distance but couldn't figure out why. The Commander can never imagine it is because Costia is intimidated by the Flamekeeper. It can't be. "Titus doesn't have a say in this..." Lexa adds before ridiculing herself for entertaining this nonsensical conversation.

"Stop... leave it..." Costia clings to the sash with a death grip treating the fabric like a security blanket.

Lexa sighs and leaves the sash alone, not wanting to accidentally tear it; instead, she walks to the end of the bed to unlace Costia's boots.

Costia didn't like that idea either. Feeling nauseated, she is especially uncooperative, and everything is disagreeable. She is also determined to thwart Lexa's plan of undressing her. But unlike the sash, the Commander was able to wrangle the shoes off of the drunken girl.

"No...no...he is trying to kill me. Stay outside the room," Costia starts pleading. Black blood, a bullet to the abdomen.

"He is gone. Indra took care of him. You are not in danger anymore..." Lexa presses her lips together, displeased with Costia's distress and thought she is talking about what transpired downstairs.

After putting the shoes down, Lexa then wrings out a towel by the water basin atop the bedside table. She sits down by the side of the bed and starts dabbing Costia's face, cleaning any evidence of alcohol and grime. "Shhh...you're safe..." Lexa coos.

The cool towel is a welcoming relief, and Costia leans into the touch, finally relaxing. "Hmmm..." her brows unfurrow.

In the morning, I will take his tongue too.

A silent rage stirs as the image of Costia being licked replays in Lexa's mind.

If I got here any later.

Costia has settled down and has drifted asleep. Lexa sighs as she tosses the towel back into the water basin. She has never seen Costia like this. So reckless and out of control. Was she upset about Lincoln? Did Niylah bring out this wild side of Costia? How many did she drink? Is she always like this? Lexa sat motionlessly. How many more lovers does she have? Maybe one with blue eyes? Her thoughts deepen, changing from anger to doubt to heartache, and her emotions flicker like the lamp wick in the dark.

"Stay with me..." Costia is talking in her dream.

Lexa turns to look at Costia. Who is she talking to?

Silence.

Lexa mindlessly brushes a hair strand off from Costia's forehead. "What am I going to do with you?" Lexa whispers.

Resigning, Lexa takes off her shoes and lays down next to Costia. She is tired from all the day's events, and she hasn't slept on a bed for days due to the traveling. She needs to rest. There is much to accomplish tomorrow.

She would go back to camp, but there is no way she is leaving Costia's side after what happened. I will stay until Indra checks back. Lexa tells herself as she closes her eyes.

She listens to the rhythm of Costia breathing next to her and can hear the faint sound of the bar downstairs. There is a stillness around them. They have never been this close.

The bed shifts and dips. Costia turns toward Lexa. Drawn by the body heat, Costia snuggles in, and her body is flushed against the Commander's side. Costia's hand travels down the length of Lexa's arm and interlaces her fingers when it finds its destination. Clasping their hands together.

Lexa opens her eyes, staring at the ceiling. It is impossible to sleep like this. She can feel the heat radiating from Costia, and it is awakening a longing in her.

"mmm, ... I miss you ... I never thought I'd see you ... again," Costia whispers by Lexa's ear. There is grief in her voice.

Lexa turns her head to look at Costia. Who are you dreaming of?

Costia's breath fastens, and her chest rises and falls in short increments. Her brows furrow. She is having a nightmare. Lexa can feel their clasped hands tightening, pulling her closer.

"... don't go," Costia pleads, gasping, and silently crying in her sleep. Tears trickled down the closed eyes, crossing the bridge of her nose.

Lexa can feel a pang in her heart. With her free hand, she reaches out and gently wipes away the tears. She leans in and feathers Costia's forehead with her lips. "It's ok. I'm here."

"No ... Lexa."

Lexa freezes. She wasn't given permission. Time pauses in what seems like an eternity ...

"I love you." Costia whispers, barely audible.

Lexa's eyes widen. She pulls away slightly and lifts her head up in surprise. What did she say?

***

Costia is awake. Her head feels like splitting, and she is in an unrecognizable room that is spinning above her. She turns her head and sees Indra sitting on a chair next to her. The warrior is wearing her usual growl of disapproval. Costia groans as she sits herself up; she knows she is about to get lectured.

"Branwoda. What were you thinking?"

"I -- " She wasn't thinking. It is unlike her to let her guards down. But something about Niylah lets her throw caution to the wind. They were both grieving. Lamenting over the deaths they couldn't prevent and those yet to come. "Where is Niylah?"

"Safe."

Costia looks around. "Where am I?" Judging from the sun's position, she has slept in for most of the morning.

"You don't remember?" Indra raises one of her eyebrows.

"I was with Niylah, and we were drinking at a tavern. We were sad and upset... " Costia struggles to recall the night. "I -- must have blacked out." What Costia remembers is that she dreamt about the City of Light. She had put that place behind a long time ago, but something has triggered and prompted the unpleasant dream. Costia leans her head back against the headboard. She feels dehydrated and really needs some water. Her headache is killing her.

If Costia is just Indra's Seken, she would have earned a beating. But Costia is so much more than just a Seken; she is a friend across time and space. She is Clarke, the great Wanheda, Heda's soulmate. She is her student, comrade-in-arms, and leader, all rolled up in one. The warrior shakes her head. "Get cleaned up. I need to debrief you. We are going to war."